Nerd Watch Wednesday - WWE Greatest Royal Rumble

May 27, 202014 min read

This week it was Rob Armstrong's turn to pick a show for the WSBF boys and here is why he picked it...

I picked the Greatest Royal Rumble so James could have Undertaker v Rusev.

TRIPLE H VS JOHN CENA

By Brum

I like what WWE have done here with their opening match by going with the old school formula of giving 2 up-and-comers a chance to shine and show what they've learned in developmental.

I don't recognise the names John Dinner and Treble H but I remember them from their runs in NXT as The Prototype and Terra Ryzing, respectively.

Both are in great shape and are hot prospects so looking forward to this.

These guys are too green to work an interesting format so we see a traditional test of strength - strike trade - out to the floor - signature and finisher trades match.

For the finish, John Dinner hits his finisher, the Alcoholics Anonymous (I think his gimmick is he's in rehab but the commentators didn't make it clear) but Treble kicks out.

Treble then uses Seth Rollins' old finisher, The Pedigree, but that only gets a 2. Some submission reversals and a second Alcoholics Anonymous gets the win for John.

Summary: A paint by numbers match but it's expected for a couple of trainees. Both lads looked like they can go though so fingers crossed for them. The dirt sheets say that Treble is dating Vince's son, former Liverpool and England midfielder Steve McMahon, so nepotism could see him go far.

WINNER: JOHN DINNER WITH THE ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CEDRIC ALEXANDER (C) vs. KALISTO

By Matt Connolly

So for this weeks Nerd watch I get some 205 action as Cedric Alexander defends the Cruiserweight title he had won a month earlier at Wrestlemania. I like many others am a fan of Cedric as an in ring talent. He's someone who was quite rightly a cornerstone of the early 205 roster and I'm never disappointed to watch him wrestle.

His opponent is Kalisto. His reputation seems to have taken a hit in the last couple of years but again I'm a fan of his work between the ropes. I think if given something to chew on he can entertain. Unfortunately, he seems to live in the shadow of that stuttering draft promo.

From what I remember these two had good chemistry, so I am looking forward to a rewatch of this one. Nothing of note in the entrances. Both get a very mild reaction which is fair considering they have just followed two of the all time greats. A few of the kids seem to get a kick out of doing the lucha arms for Kalisto though.

WWE commentary gets ragged on a lot and some of it is fair but here Cole is doing a great job of setting the table for this one. Mentioning how Cedric has had to fight hard ever since he lost to Ibushi way back in the Cruiserweight Classic, not only to get a contract with the WWE, but him having to drop weight to be eligible.

Kalisto meanwhile, is trying to prove that despite testing himself against the bigger boys he is still the best the division has to offer. I guess this stuff becomes tedious if repeated weekly but it works for me here.

Early stages both guys trade spectacular dives that the crowd seem into. The story developing is one of Cedric's power being too much. He is working Kalisto's back but it isn't particularly scientific or, to be brutal, interesting. The match really sings when instead of power Cedric uses speed and nails a beautiful dropkick right into Kalisto's mush. I'm surprised his mask stayed on!

In fairness, the long rest hold spots do mean the crowd reacts heavy for Kalisto's offence. His Tornado DDT, Spike Rana and Top Rope Dive all get loud cheers. Alexander breaks this fightback with a fantastic snap Michinoku driver for a close near fall.

Into the closing stages and Kalisto hits one of the best Spanish Fly's I've ever seen. I have never really been that into the move to be honest, we all have that one move that we can't suspend belief for, but this one works a treat.

As Kalisto is falling he uses the momentum of the top rope as a springboard to help him bounce up into the move. That might read as a terrible description but trust me it was marvellous.

Cedric recovers after a striking battle that as the bigger man he wins with a nasty back elbow. His Lumbar Check finisher is instead reversed into a hurricanrana and for a moment it looks like Kalisto will score the surprise win. As he sets up for his finish, the Salida Del Sol, Kalisto essentially just needs to hit a reverse DDT.

However, mid way through his flight he is thrusted upwards - and this time Alexander does hit the Lumbar Check. That is an outstanding reversal. A great inventive finish to this one.

SUMMARY: A fun outing. It didn't go long and the crowd popped where they should. Would they have remembered this on the way out? Maybe not. Could this of been a hidden gem in front of a hot crowd? Sure. Both guys pulled a shift and told a story here. As a stand alone viewing I had fun.

WINNER - STILL CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION, CEDRIC ALEXANDER BY LUMBAR CHECK

VACANT RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE BAR vs. MATT HARDY & BRAY WYATT

By Nineties Mike

With this being the Greatest Royal Rumble and, as such, a bit of a glorified House Show, we get no intro video, and just half of both Matt Hardy’s Woken and Bray Wyatt’s “???”

themes.

So, with Hardy having thrown Bray into the Lake of Reincarnation, he is now Woken. They are battling for the vacant Raw Tag Team titles with another seemingly (at the beginning) thrown together tag team of Cesaro and Sheamus,

The Bar. The titles are vacant thanks to Braun Strowman and Nicholas winning and then vacating the belts.

Cesaro and Hardy kick us off with duelling “Delete” and “The Bar” chants, which the fans are eating up. Shoulder tackle off the ropes, and Hardy tags Wyatt in. They hit a neck-breaker / shoulder tackle combo and Cesaro is already in trouble.

He manages to get a boot up at a charging Bray though, and gets the tag. Sheamus spots the backdrop attempt and kicks Bray in the face. Bray turns the tables, though, and catches a gloating Sheamus with a brutal clothesline before tagging The Woken One in.

Double team elbows and a senton / leg-drop combo angers Cesaro, who bursts into the ring straight into Bray’s right hand. Wyatt and Hardy once again play the role of cheerleaders, and the crowd really are into everything here tonight.

A clothesline and neck-breaker from Hardy lead us to our first cover, but it only gets a 1-count. Hardy goes for a Twist if Fate, but Sheamus blocks it and throws Hardy to the ropes but he holds on and avoids the right hand. Cesaro spots the ref is distracted and hangs Hardy off top rope.

Big clothesline from Sheamus and he rolls Hardy out of the ring. Wyatt tries going after Sheamus, but that just distracts the ref and allows Cesaro to hit Hardy with a clothesline. Hardy heads back in and Sheamus wraps him up in a front face-lock before tagging in Cesaro.

They hit him with double kicks to the midsection and Cesaro covers for our first 2-count. Another rest-hold is slapped on Hardy, but as he fights out, Cesaro leans over and tags in Sheamus. Double clothesline and a big knee-drop from Sheamus lead to another 2-count and another rest-hold on Wyatt. He again attempts to battle out, but another smart tag gives us Cesaro and a great European Uppercut followed by a gut-wrench suplex for yet another 2-count.

More sneaky tag wrestling, with Cesaro choking Hardy on the ropes to distract the ref again and let Sheamus hit Matt with a big boot to the face from the outside. Another pin-fall attempt leads to some bragging from The Bar and Cesaro knocks Wyatt off the apron.

But Hardy sees an opportunity for a roll-up and gets a good 2.6-count. This just angers The Bar, though and a European Uppercut and double team elbow drop gets us another solid 2-count. Both men roll out, with Sheamus forgetting he’s the legal man, but covers for another 2-count.

Hardy battles back with punches, attempting to gain some momentum, and manages to hit Sheamus with a Side Effect, which gains him some separation and a tag to Wyatt. Wyatt runs wild with chops, clotheslines and a cross-body-block. This only leads to a 2-count, and he decides it’s time for Sister Abigail. Sheamus is in though, breaks things up, hits Hardy on the apron, and the ref has lost control.

Cesaro with another 2-count on Wyatt, so he tags in Cesaro. A big double team move leads to another pin, but Hardy breaks it up at 2.5. He hits Cesaro with a quick Twist of Fate, but Sheamus throws Hardy out with Cesaro. Sheamus thinks it’s time for the Brogue Kick, but just as he’s about to charge, Wyatt does his human spider thing and Sheamus is spooked.

Hardy declares this “Magic”, distract Sheamus, who is then hit with Sister Abigail. Hardy is tagged in and they hit a double-team-elevated-Twist-of-Fate! Hardy with the cover, and the Woken Ones are the new Raw Tag Team champions!

SUMMARY: That was fine, nothing amazing, all spots were hit, and the crowd loved it. What more can you ask for?

WINNERS - NEW RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS MATT HARDY & BRAY WYATT BY DOUBLE TWIST OF FATE

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: JEFF HARDY (C) vs. JINDER MAHAL

By Rob Armstrong

Don’t hinder Jinder. For 6 minutes, the people of the beautiful kingdom of Jeddah were in wrestling heaven as the greatest daredevil entertainer of a generation took on a one-legged Jeff Hardy.

To be honest, we’re looking at about 5 minutes of knee stomps, chinlocks and neckbreakers before a Sunil Singh interference and a Swanton bomb finish. But that doesn’t change the fact that Jeddah is a beguiling and culturally rich melting pot where every race of the Red Sea is represented. It’s a beguiling and culturally rich melting pot where every race of the Red Sea is represented.

The 32 year old crown prince has welcomed women drivers, as well as allowing women to go to the cinema. It’s a beautiful time to be in Saudi Arabia. Booker T loves the food, JR thinks the ribs are spicy, Jerry Lawler got room service at 11pm. Visit the beautiful kingdom of Jeddah.

SUMMARY: Hardy won by the way. But really, the winners are those who get to go to Jeddah. Jeff Hardy? More like Jedd aHardy.

WINNER - STILL US CHAMPION, JEFF HARDY BY SWANTON BOMB

SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS (C) vs. THE USOS

By Nineties Mike

This is a bit of a weird one to write up. The Usos, who are first out, have been conspicuous in their absence since the Coronavirus Pandemic hit, and their opponents, The Bludgeon Brothers Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, no longer work for the WWE. What a difference a relatively small amount of time can make.

The Bludgeon Brothers are the title-holders as of Wrestlemania 34 three weeks earlier, and have been laying waste to all and sundry prior to this, though The Usos stole a win on the Smackdown Live episode prior to this event. 590lbs of pure brutality meets high-flying athleticism.

Jey and Rowan start us off, and maybe foolishly, Jey attempts trading blows with the big guy. Rowan throws away, and then catches a rope-running Jey with a brutal looking dropkick. Knee-drop follows, and a tag to Harper, who continues the battering with big punches and tags Rowan back in.

The big ginger metaller attacks with stomps, a pump-handle-backbreaker, and a big splash. Jey kicks out at 2, but Rowan instantly attempts to crush the Uso brother’s head. Jey bravely attempts to battle out, but, but a shoulder tackle drives him back to the canvas. Rown circles his prey, and clubbing blows drive Jey back down.

He goes for a shoulder tackle, but Jey sees him coming and sidesteps as Rowan makes friends with the ring post. Harper smartly makes the tag, going for Jey, but again, his quickness sees him evade Harper’s big boot and Harper falls to the outside.

A battered Jey manages to get the tag to Jimmy, the fresh man, and he hits two dives to the outside on both their opponents. Crossbody from the top on harper and Jimmy gets… a 1-count. Wow. Harper goes after a discus lariat, but Jimmy ducks and kicks Harper in the head. Jimmy starts some chants, and launches himself arse first at Harper’s head.

Harper is straight up though, absolutely flattening Jimmy in the corner. He looks to follow up with a powerbomb, but Jimmy wriggles out and gets the tag on Jey. Stereo superkicks and stereo dropkicks from The Usos. Harper is up and so is Rowan but they each eat more stereo superkicks. Jey with a splash from the top, but it only gets a 2.6-count. Jimmy wants the tag, and he gets it. Both Usos go to the top, but Rowan pulls Jey off the top and clatters him with a spinning kick.

Harper boots a distracted Jimmy off the apron, and the ref grabs him to try to restore some order. On the outside though, Rowan mows Jimmy down, rolls him back inside and makes the tag. Harper slaps Rowan and launches him into Jimmy, who is slumped in the corner. A double team powerbomb, and that is that for The Usos, with the Bludgeon Brothers retaining their titles.

SUMMARY: Again, nothing bad with this. The Usos gave it a go, and at one point they may have believed they could win, but sheer power and brutality won out in the end.

WINNERS - STILL SMACKDOWN CHAMPIONS, THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS BY DOUBLE POWERBOMB

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH: SETH ROLLINS (C) vs. THE MIZ vs. SAMOA JOE vs. FINN BALOR

By Brum

I believe this is my first time watching this match. At the time, I think I watched the Rumble itself due to pure morbid curiosity, but skipped the rest of the show as it's just a corrupt house show.

I originally play-by-played this but (because I'm an idiot) typed my review on Messenger on my phone and have somehow lost it. So here is an abridged version!

I was pleasantly surprised with the quality. There are 3 legitimately fantastic talents in the match and Miz is always solid, but I thought it would be a bit of a phone-in.

I'm not saying they gave there all and it was a top tier multi-man ladder, but it was still pretty enjoyable considering the stakes were low.

The two stand out spots were Miz SCFing Joe on to the ladder and the finish with Seth springboarding onto the ladder.

With that said, don't bother watching this. It was fun and all but there is an ocean of wrestling content out there and if you're skint, a decent whack of it is free.

SUMMARY: If there is nothing particularly on your horizon, and you can't be bothered researching; go on YouTube, type "[insert name of promotion/wrestler] [free/full] match" and you will stumble upon something which tells a story and/or has an emotional base to it rather than just 4 guys dancing for an evil prince.

WINNER - STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, SETH ROLLINS BY BEING SMOOTH AS FUCK

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: AJ STYLES (C) vs. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA

By Ross Casey

This dream feud of 2018 was problematic in that it suffered from living in the shadow of their Wrestle Kingdom match and also some questionable booking. I seem to recall this match being one of the better matches form their WWE series, so I am intrigued to watch it back.

My first take is that Shinsuke gets hardly any reaction from the Saudi crowd, whilst AJ's entrance gets a decent pop. May it be true that Nakamura simply doesn't have that star power beyond the smarks? Perhaps a title reign would have helped?!!

Having sat through months of audience-less wrestling, the pyro and setup of this Saudi show is quite an assault on the senses, by the way.

The start of this match is great. The pair have amazing chemistry and they trade grapples, strikes and taunts at ease. Despite the pomp of the stadium, though it never has the atmosphere or feeling of that Wrestle Kingdom classic. There's even a Mexican wave for fuck's sake.

When Nakamura is in control, the strong style strikes are on point, but when he realises that the crowd are busy with their own fun - he locks in a chinlock. What a bloke.

The pace picks up when AJ gets on the front foot, but Nakamura uses his wits to avoid an attack and go back to his strong style strikes. He lines up a Kinshasa, but AJ reverses it into a calf crusher!

Nakamura is able to fight through the pain and reach the ropes. Yeah, this is actually really good, it just misses the feeling of their previous efforts. That is nothing they can do about in my opinion, beyond not signing for WWE. This is great stuff.

There's an awesome strike exchange which Nakamura wins, when he goes down as if he has broken his jaw, only to play possum and kick AJ's head off. Love that. The further this match goes on, the more the crowd pay attention and actually at times, this has a big time feel to it which is ace.

AJ misses a springboard and Nakamura uses a low blow for a 2 count. The Kinshasa again fails to connect however and we go outside with AJ spearing Nakamura over the commentary table for a 10 count.

SUMMARY: This is exactly what I was talking about. This was easily going along to be a bit of a WWE classic, only for a bullshit finish that basically takes away from the feud. A massive shame as bell to bell, the in-ring work was great.

CASKET MATCH: THE UNDERTAKER vs. RUSEV

By JCH

JCH was unavailable...

WINNER - THE UNDERTAKER BY STUFFING RUSEV INTO A CASKET

UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: BROCK LESNAR (C) vs. ROMAN REIGNS

By Ross Casey

During Roman Reigns' entrance it is mentioned that Roman kicked out of FIVE F5's in their last encounter and I immediately eye roll. The WWE had a problem at the time with Universal championship matches - they can be more than 5-10 minute finisher stored kick-outs, right?

Michael Cole mentions that this is the third meeting between the pair and we are set to go! Roman tries for a superman punch immediately, but gets caught and eats FOUR German suplexes.

Then Brock hits his F5 finisher. Rather than going for the pin, he goes for another one which Reigns wriggles out of and hits THREE Superman punches. Brock doesn't even stay down and catches Reigns, who attempts to escape the cage.

Brock is the one to attempt an escape over the cage next, but he gets caught and is powerbombed! A new move! Reigns then smashes Lesnar into the cage a few times and spears him three times, but Brock kicks out.

Roman walks through the door, but Heyman smashes it on his head and he walks straight into an F5 - so now it is Reigns who kicks out.

Reigns then hits a spear and hits Lesnar with a chair four times. Boy are they stiff hits too! Reigns then SPEARS Lesnar through the cage, so Lesnar wins by landing first. Despite Reigns' feet landing first?! That bump is actually grim, Roman lands awfully.

SUMMARY: I struggle to care for these style of matches where wrestlers basically only trade signature and finishing moves, but props to Reigns for agreeing to that finish. I can't cope with how close he is to compressing his fucking spine. P.S Roman woz robbed.

WINNER - STILL UNIVERSAL CHAMPION, BROCK LESNAR BY GETTING SPEARED THROUGH THE CAGE