Nerd Watch Wednesday: WCW Thunder: October 14th 1999

Jul 22, 202011 min read

G’day lads and welcome to our first ever WCW Thunder Nerd Watch Wednesday. I’m absolutely buzzing for this one as I’ve never seen an episode of Thunder. As a kid I was a huge WCW fan, but we only got Nitro on tele in Australia.

Even as an 11 year old, I knew, deep down, that Nitro was a shambles. Like Dido, however, I went down with the ship, watching every episode until Shane McMahon appeared on the 26th of March 2001.

During this time, I never really felt like I was missing much by not having access to Thunder. At the time, for someone not watching, It always felt like a B show and angles didn’t really seem to progress too much outside of Nitro or monthly Pay Per Views; I just didn’t understand why.

Since then I’ve learned more about the original premise behind Thunder. Eric Bischoff, after being told he must launch an additional, 2 hour show; had the vision to create separate televised shows for the NWO (Nitro) and WCW (Thunder). It’s a good idea in theory, but Bischoff has since stated that he felt the secondary show was doomed to fail from the outset as it would “dilute the Nitro product.”

Not only would the product on Nitro end up like cordial, but if talent couldn’t be exclusively separated across shows (which AOL-Time Warner weren’t keen on), all of a sudden the wrestlers themselves were working an extra 50 nights a year and their guaranteed contracts weren’t increased.

So from the outset of Thunder you had unhappy wrestlers, promoters and financial backers. It’s no wonder the in-ring product is remembered as being a train-wreck. I can’t wait for this one…

This episode comes from Thursday 14th October, 1999.

The opening credits include Ric Flair, Sting, Goldberg, Kevin Nash and Hollywood Hogan, but having a look down the card, I’m not expecting to see any of these heavy hitters of the product in the squared circle. 90 seconds in here and I immediately have to back track.

Big Sexy himself is on commentary and breaking Kayfabe from the get-go: “A lot of people said that I was a horrible booker, but I actually booked myself in the best angle of all time; I’m retired! Since they’re paying me big money they decided to put me on the broadcast team to try and recoup some of those funds.” This is going to be fun, dear reader.

SGT BUDDY LEE PARKER vs. JIM DUGGAN

By Matt Connolly

First of two matches for me this week is an opening bout that sees Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker take on the legend that is Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Parker out first and it's to pretty much no reaction. Parker is famous in my eyes for taking huge offence to Louis Theroux calling wrestling fake.

He then sets him a series of drills that leave Louis a broken man but make sure the business is protected, brother! Hacksaw does elicit a positive reaction despite the fact he is doing a parody of the thing people liked 10-15 years earlier, proudly waving the 13 bars and 50 stars in one hand and his trusty two by four in his other.

So yeah, I'm sure Thunder will start with a bang here! Sarge is thick but Duggan dwarfs him. Hacksaw threatens to smash Parker's head of with the two by four as the bell rings, he even threatens the ref. He then starts a USA chant. Parker tries a sneak attack but Duggan no sells it and gets a monster pop for a hip toss/lariat combo.

It's a fun house show type match. The only thing Duggan sells in the four minutes this one goes is a headlock but that is only so he can get the crowd on board with another chorus of USA. He cycles through his hits and the crowd respond to all of it.

Duggan eventually puts away the man he has a massive size advantage over with a big lariat and Old Glory Knee Drop. This is never a match to go out of your way to see but it does the job and the crowd eat it up. Solid if unspectacular.

WINNER - JIM DUGGAN BY OLD GLORY KNEE DROP

AL GREEN vs. LASH LEROUX

By Brum

At times in life, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that the person you are today is the person that you’ve always been. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, life has ways of reminding us that’s not the case. Whether it be an ill-forgotten memory, a nugget of pop culture, or an archaic facebook status; our annoying past selves can jump out of nowhere and slap us in the face.

My ghost of Christmas past is today masquerading as Lash LeRoux. I used to love the Lash (whey, lads). He was a bit of a Pound Shop Chris Jericho, but I loved Jericho so much that I was also all over his cajun non-union equivalent.

LeRoux had a strange career. His charisma pointed to something happening for him but it never quite did. If memory serves, he ended up at a WWE development territory after the death of WCW but never made it to TV. There is a good chance that this charisma was invented by my 14 year old brain & that should become apparent in a minute or two.

Al Green is out first and should win PWI’s Oiliest Jobber 1999 award, hands down. I don’t remember this guy but I am subconsciously humming “Let’s Stay Together”. Oh god, Kevin Nash is on commentary & he just made a similar joke. FUCKING SHOOT ME. I’VE BECOME KEVIN NASH. I really thought I was better than that. Apparently not.

Lash is out next. He’s the hometown boy as this Thunder is out of Louisiana, but he didn’t exactly get a hometown pop. It’s a short back & forth contest with Lash winning with this finisher, the Whiplash. A move which would go on to an inspire a fantastic 2014 film about jazz drumming.

The match itself is sloppy, non-descript, & devoid of anything resembling a narrative. Just two men doing moves to each for the sake of it in a short time window, i.e. a latter-day WCW match.

But my early teen self wasn’t completely bonkers. LeRoux did have something about him. Was he a great worker? No. But he wasn’t intended for Pro Wrestling NOAH at the time: his expected destination was early 00s WWE which, despite having some fantastic talents, also had a lot of guys who were there for their charisma, not their cravates, and I think he could have fit in well.

WINNER – LASH LEROUX WITH THE WHIPLASH

HUGH MORRUS & BRIAN KNOBBS vs. THE ARMSTRONGS

By Dom Van Dam

Jimmy Hart’s First Family are lining up here against the future WWE referee Scott Armstrong and Steve who is the Armstrong I don’t really know a lot about. Nash chips in with an absolute beauty when conversation turns to Morrus. “He also finds time to fly to Japan to have Bull Nakano do his hair once a week.”

Scott Armstrong gets the hot tag and is in control for about 4 seconds before he is cut off and met with No Laughing Matter for the 1,2,3.

After the match, Harlem Heat storm the ring to save The Armstrongs from a strong-arm beat down to continue to build to what I imagine will be a tag blow-off at Halloween Havoc.

Up next, Kevin Nash is overdubbing a highlights package of Goldberg and Sid’s matches from Nitro this week. It’s genuinely funny, but is really just a thinly veiled opportunity for Nash to shit on the 2 biggest draws in the company and the main event for the upcoming PPV. This is peak WCW Kayfabe bending rubbish and absolutely horrendous booking for wrestling, but entertaining as anything 21 years later.

WINNERS - HUGH MORRUS & BRIAN KNOBBS BY NO LAUGHING MATTER

HORACE VS BRIAN ADAMS

By Brum

Before this match, we get a recap from Nitro on the Goldberg vs Sid feud. It’s as riveting as you could imagine. Talking about riveting, we now have Horace Hogan (now just Horace) vs Brian Adams.

Is Horace Hogan the worst wrestler to be part of a WON 5 star match? Granted, it was a 6 man in FMW so not exactly a workrate spectacle, but still. I’ve always had an irrational hatred of Horace Hogan, especially when I was a kid. I know he’s rubbish, and there is the whole nepotism thing, and his uncle is a twonk, but even with those rational factors considered, my dislike of him always outweighed that. Maybe it’s just his punchable face?

I don’t have much more love for his opponent, Brian Adams. I didn’t like him as the awkward third wheel of Demolition; I didn’t like his shit lid & worse attire 1992 return; & I fucking hate Summer of 69. Though I think I disliked him most during his nWo & KroniK runs. He had the air of a guy at a biker bar with no opinions of his own that laughs at the jokes of the others even though he doesn’t understand them, & then tries to look hard when something is about to kick off. That probably says more about me than of Brian Adams.

The match isn’t as bad as I expected & Horace especially is better than memory serves. With that said, there are a few bits that irked me. Firstly, Horace low blows Adams & it’s not a DQ. Later on, Adams no-sells some offence, but rather than emoting to the crowd that this is an impressive feat, he just stands up normally, making the act void of meaning.

Finally, despite them being two strong guys, they fail to portray this match as a physical struggle. Maybe I’m overanalysing a WCW midcard but all this stuff is pretty basic.

With all that said, the finish is pretty sick. I don’t remember enough about Brian Adams matches to know if this is a partial botch or his actual finisher though. In many ways, it’s a standard piledriver but rather than Brian’s legs being symmetrical, they both hang to the left, making the impact look a lot harsher.

WINNER – BRIAN ADAMS WITH THE CLOUD NO 9 PILEDRIVER

BERLYN vs. PRINCE IAUKEA

By Dom Van Dam

Backstage we see our third Armstrong of the evening, Brad, who is starring in another highlights package from Nitro. BA cops a bit of a spray in German from Berlyn. Armstrong, the babyface, gets all xenophobic, “This is America, you speak English to me!”

The American Hero ends up getting jumped backstage by The Wall and then in the ring by Berlyn himself, which leads us in to (what I imagine will be) another squash.

Berlyn was hyped up massively before his debut and then, from memory, disappeared fairly quickly to be superseded by his own bodyguard in popularity and push. Iaukea starts the match quickly but is cut off by a pair of Backbreakers by the former Alex Wright. This is one of the least scintillating squashes you’ll ever see. Berlin (the city) is probably the loosest place I’ve ever been; I had 60-odd Jagerbombs there one weekend on a sojourn to watch Ice Hockey.

Berlyn is about as fun as the hungover plane ride back to London, early doors on Monday morning. He wins this one with a Neckbreaker.

LUTHER BIGGS vs. MENG

By Matt Connolly

My second helping of this episode of Thunder sees me checking out a dude I have never seen before in Luther Biggs facing off against a Man who could very well take the title of scariest dude in wrestling, Meng.

There is a hype package for Meng before the match that makes him look like the killer he is. I like it. It features a lot of Tongan death grips. Biggs is out first and it looks like he is running a PE teacher gimmick. His top is literally a white sleeveless shirt with Phys. Ed. emblazoned on the middle.

He has a manager who is dressed the same and has a whistle and a clipboard so you know he's pretty official. If you want a better picture maybe Kevin Nash describing him as "a little husky" will help I'll be honest following the presentation of Meng and having seen 20 seconds of Biggs this one shouldn't go any longer than a minute.

Meng comes out all in Gold and has a hairstyle that doesn't seem familiar to me. Kevin Nash remarks that "You have never seen Meng and Barry White in the same room" which means he has hit the bottle hard by this point.

"Luther Biggs, no relation to Scotty Riggs". Cheers Tenay.

The match is two minutes or just shy of it and is just Meng battering the poor lad. Eventually he locks in the Death grip and this one is over. It did it's job but it could have been done in 30 seconds.

WINNER - MENG BY TONGAN DEATH GRIP

PERRY SATURN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR

By Ross Casey

When I first chose this match, I felt like a pig in shit as I snapped up what easily looked like the best thing on the card. Having read some of the other lads match reviews though, I feel like I have missed out on some major wrestlecrap. For shame.

Saturn is out first sporting his Revolution shirt, followed by Rey who startles me with his unmasked face. Never get used to seeing it! Both wrestlers get a big pyro entrance as the commentators talk about every wrestler on the roster other than the pair about to actually wrestle. Talk about money down the drain.

The action is fast, crisp and brilliant to watch, but it is literally minutes into the match and the two competitors in the ring still haven't been mentioned by the commentary team.

My fear of choosing the one good match on paper is proving valid as Nash is quipping jokes over a decnt match and Zbysko is trying to make him laugh too, whilst Tenay is like me, trying to enjoy the graps. Should have gone with Duggan.

Saturn utilises many a suplex to slow down Mysterio, but ultimately he falls prey to a delIcious floatover headscissors pinfall. As Rey celebrates, Saturn attacks both him and the ref from behind, before hitting Mysterio with a chain, a diving elbow drop and a rings of saturn.

SUMMARY: The match itself was crisp as fuck whilst also pretty soulless. The commentary absolutely grated on me, it was like a drunkalong with us at our smarkiest worst, which is fun when you know that is what you are getting, but for an actual promotion to bury the product they are creating I simply found infuriating.

WINNER - REY MYSTERIO JR BY HEADSCISSORS PINFALL

THE TOTAL PACKAGE & RICK STEINER vs. BUFF BAGWELL & LA PARKA

It’s “main event” (using that term very loosely) time here. This is potentially Bagwell’s last main event before he debuted on Raw in 2001. I don’t think it’s Tornado Tag rules but there’s not a whole lot of law and order going on here.

Highlights include a sign for “Redd Dogg” in the front row. Of course Red Dogg is one of Louisiana’s favourite sons, the future Rodney Mack from Monday Night Raw fame. Nash labels several moves “Old Glory” as a call back to the finish of the opener. There’s an Old Glory Choke and the Old Glory Steinerline. That got a genuine pop from me.

“Let’s go back to the action!” yells Nash and Buff takes this advice literally. Remember, he’s the one who apparently has the beef with Luger, but he decides to walk out of the match after he gets annoyed with La Parka. This doesn’t make a lick of sense.

The ref throws the match out and I guess it’s a no contest as the screen fades to black.

That was actually pretty good fun. I might go back and watch some more of these. Drink lots of water; look after your mates.

WINNERS - NO CONTEST WE GUESS

That's all, folks!