Nerd Watch Wednesday: Smoky Mountain Wrestling March 19th 1994

Mar 25, 202012 min read

Updated: Jun 3, 2020

Last week we went back all the way to 1995 to watch one of the greatest wrestling tournaments captured on camera. This week, we go back just a year further, to the much more humble settings of Smoky Mountain Wrestling for their TV taping which aired on March the 19th of that year. Why? Because Matt Connolly, that's why.

If you happen to go back and watch this show on the WWE Network, try and count the mentions for the upcoming Bluegrass Brawl. Don't say that Jim Cornette was not a good promoter! If you're making a drinking game out of it, you'll need a stomach pump and a sure fire stubbornness.

BOBBY BLAZE v LARRY SANTO

By Matt Connolly

So this week was my pick for Nerd Watch Wednesday and after a workrate classic last week when Brummitt picked J Cup '95, I felt we needed something to cleanse the palate. Therefore, I plumped for a random episode of Smoky Mountain Wrestling from 1994. But why Smoky Mountain Wrestling?

Honestly, the whole set up of the company fascinates me. For those who don't know here is the backstory. "Wrestling the way it use to be. Wrestling the way you like it". The tag line for this promotion that was founded in 1991 by Rick Ruben.

For those of you who don't know Ruben, he was the co-founder of Def Jam records and put out artists such as Beastie Boys, LL Cool J and Public Enemy. He decided to get Jim Cornette on board and whatever your thoughts on him now, it has to be said that in 1991 there were few better picks available to help run your promotion than him.

It's mad to me that such a visionary musical mind like Ruben would want to make the whitest, most old fashioned southern wrestling imaginable. It doesn't really suprise me Cornette would. Although running through the early 90s it's fair to say Smoky Mountain could be forgiven for feeling at least ten years older than it is.

For context of when this event takes place, Wrestlemania 10 ( which has been reviewed in a previous NWW, Go check it out!) was the night following this episode of SMW and featured all time classics such as Bret Vs Owen and maybe the best ladder match ever in Shawn Michaels vs Razor Ramon.

So onto the opening match. Bobby Blaze vs Larry Santo. Both competitors are already in the ring so there are no money entrances to talk about. Santo is 245 lbs and from Tennessee and the crowd boo him. Blaze is 228 lbs and from Kentucky and the crowd greet him with cheers. Bell rings as Blaze is taking his jacket off and this smells of opportunity to Santo who gets on the offence with clubbing blows to the back straight away.

Blaze turns it around with a back drop and a hip toss before Santo retreats. I think Blaze is running a Karate gimmick? He air strikes what looks like a kung fu kick? It looks bad whatever it is but the small but hot crowd eat it up. It is here where we get the first use of co-commentator "Dirty" Dutch Mantell's rating system. He rates Blaze's offence at a 2.3 out of 10 and I am completely in agreement. Sloppy.

The match descends into some woeful back and forth strikes before Dutch decides to revive the score system and gives Santo 8.6 for something. He says it's olympic standard but everything looked horrible so I'm not sure what he is rating so high. He then gives him a 9.6 for avoiding a corner splash.

There is backing the heels because they are your boys and there is diluting your own rating system. Dutch is guilty of the latter here. Anyway, this painful 3 minute match ends when Blaze hits a bridging suplex for a 3 count.

It's pretty crisp, which can't be said for the rest of this match. That was a stinker but it hasn't made me regret picking this show because I'm hopeful others can pick the bones out of their sub standard matches.

WINNER - BOBBY BLAZE BY BRIDGING SUPLEX

DIRTY WHITE BOY & DIRTY WHITE GIRL INTERVIEW

By Brum

I would like to hold my hand up and say I'm not an expert on Smoky Mountain Wrestling. It's one of those companies that I've always wanted to check out but never had a justifiable reason to do so, so thanks Connolly (I guess).

I have 2 promos to review today and the first is with "Dirty White Boy & Dirty White Girl". Was Cornette too lazy to give them names? Or does he think that little of his audience? I don't know why I'm sounding negative here; I think their names are bloody excellent.

DWB is wrestling plumber, TL Hopper from mid 90s WWF! Easily top 5 best occupational gimmicks. I don't recognise DWG.

DWB starts off by calling Tammy Sytch "Tammy Bitch" because he's a potty mouthed wordsmith. I don't follow much of the rest but he says "whoop-dee-doo" at some point so there's that.

I've gone back and put subtitles on but still not really sure what's going off. He then promotes a Back Alley Brawl mixed tag match at Bluegrass Brawl 94. This is all utterly wonderful.

People reading this will work out that "Back Alley Brawl" is just a street fight. WELL THOSE WRESTLE-TECTIVES ARE WRONG. A "Back Alley Brawl" match means you have to strip both opponents down to their BVDs (what the fuck is a BVD?).

DWG now enters the fray and she's even better than DWB. She says Tammy is a rat that goes between motels looking for meat.

Summary: That is the best Southpaw Regional Wrestling segment I've ever seen. I'm already faxing my local cable provider about Bluegrass Brawl on April 1st.

WINNER - BRUM FOR HAVING SEEN THIS

KILLER KYLE vs MIKE FURNAS W/POST-MATCH PROMO

By Shafi

I am really looking forward to this match! Last week I reviewed a damn near 5 star match between Rey Mysterio and Psicosis and you would think that there can only be one way to go when you reach such an apex. But... But... I have confidence that I will enjoy this segment just as much.

I've never seen Smoky Mountain Wrestling before but they have an ace in the hole. They are run by the legendary manager Jim Cornette, a true historian of wrestling. For the last 20 years I've heard Cornette criticise various aspects of wrestling, some more justified than others. So a promotion that was created in his image must be incredible and beyond reproach, wrestling perfection if you will. Let's get started! We cut to the ring and the arena is admittedly cosy, there is maybe 100 people in attendance. That's ok, some of the best crowds are intimate ones. The ref is in the ring and he has a long flowing curly mullet and suspenders, his face is haggard and jaunt with the look that only a diet of Jack Daniels and cigarettes can achieve. What he lacks in beauty he clearly makes up for in life experience which can only aid his officiating ability. I have faith in him. Killer Kyle is announced as the Beat The Champ TV Champion. He does not get an entrance nor does he have a title belt. The championship is so prestigious that it cannot be personified by leather and gold and it has two different variations of the world 'champion' in its name to leave the viewer in no doubt that Killer Kyle is legitimate. Kyle dresses like a champion, he's wearing a white short sleeve collared shirt and black trousers in what is clearly a homage to nightclub bouncers everywhere, I think it's nice that even in the role of champion he is able to represent the every man. Some might say he was the Dusty Rhodes of his time. The camera cuts to a gentleman in the crowd who appears to be playing hide and seek with the Grim Reaper. He is less than impressed by Killer Kyle. Suddenly some banjos start playing and the crowd are pumped! Their huge smiles allow me to count all the teeth in the front row on one hand. Mike Furnas is out and he runs a lap around the ring, he is dressed in all orange like a true athlete. He climbs into the ring and removes his jumper before swinging it about his head like a lasso. Killer Kyle grabs the jumper and throws it to the floor. When Furnas goes to pick it up he is kicked to the ground. Kyle continues the beatdown and then signals for his finisher. He proceeds to hit the rope and attempt a standing elbow drop. This choice of finisher is Hogan-esque but unfortunately he misses. Furnas runs at Kyle and put his arm out to no effect. So he does exactly the same thing again with the same result. Furnas ducks a clothesline and comes off the ropes with a flying shoulder tackle that gets negative airtime and picks up the pinfall victory! We have a new Beat The Champ TV Champion! The crowd love it! Ok... I can't take it anymore. Enough of this positivity bullshit. I can only assume that Cornette called his promotion 'Smoky Mountain' because 'Hillbilly Redneck Wrestling' was already taken. This event is being held on a high school basketball court. There is no one in attendance. It is 1994 but it looks at least 20 years older. The wrestling is shocking, Mike Furnas makes The Great Khali look like the Great Sasuke.

Killer Kyle clearly came straight to the show after work and forgot his gear. Despite the crowd booing him he's only one 'K' short of being their hero. The ref is a tweeker. If this is Jim Cornette's vision for the business then we should all raise a glass to the death of Smoky Mountain Wrestling.

WINNER - MIKE FURNAS BY TERRIBLE SHOULDER TACKLE

HEAVENLY BODIES vs. ROCK N'ROLL EXPRESS

By Ross Casey

I must have been one of the few people to enjoy the Heavenly Bodies run in the WWF in 1994. I know, Ross in liking wrestling shock. I thought that they both had very sound in-ring mechanics, they made me laugh with their gimmick of being everyman gigolos and of course they had Jim Cornette as their manager. What isn't to dislike? Get into 'em lads!

So when I saw that this match was not a fun little sprint on a 49 minute TV show, but in fact the final three minutes of a 60 minute iron man match, I was pretty bummed. The small snippet that they did show was so slow and dull, it felt like the duelling chinlocks were on my wall in drying paint.

Fortunately, that dastardly Jim Cornette arrived to entertain with an oxygen canister and mask. He delivered a much needed boost to the lungs for his team, before clobbering Ricky Morton with the canister - allowing Del Ray to pick up the win. BOO HISS BOO. It's certainly a creative finish!

The highlight were the post-match promos, particularly a Pete Hitchcock looking Cornette in a Shazam! superhero suit telling the world that his team were simply fitter and stronger on the night.

Whilst he rants and raves about their superior fitness, the pair hand their gas mask to eachother and fall about slapstick style, clearly showing the opposite to what Cornette is saying. It's glorious stuff.

The Rock N'Roll Express promo is a lot more paint by numbers but I did laugh at their closing statement that they are not here to play, they are here to stay. A 1994 face promo ending on that line ahead of a Loser Leaves Town cage match is not a prediction - it's a spoiler!

WINNERS - HEAVENLY BODIES BY GAS

INTERVIEW WITH PRIMETIME BRIAN LEE & TAMMY SYTCH

By Brum

Down & Dirty is an interview segment with Dutch Mantell and my second review of the night. This is a beautiful companion piece to my earlier review and I hope it's just 10% as good.

I called Tammy Fytch "Tammy Sytch" before but apparently her name is a letter different in SMW. You lot probably know her as Sunny.

She is accompanied by "Fake Undertaker" Brian Lee. Tammy hypes up her "Strip The Clothes" match (The Dirty White Persons called it a "Back Alley Brawl"? I don't care, both are excellent).

Tammy says that even though it's on April 1st, they won't be the fools. Zinger. Tammy says that all they have do is toss Dirty White Girl $10 and she'll take her clothes off anyway. She asks Dutch what she would do for $20 but he doesn't pass comment.

Sorry to interrupt this promo but I need to say Brian Lee is the worst dressed wrestler I've ever seen. And I've seen Lance Archer.

Dirty White Boy & Dirty Boy Girl charge the ring and the crowd go mental. Wait, they're the faces?! Tammy escapes but they beat up Brian Lee and strip him to his pants. Wrestling.

Summary: This didn't reach the dizzying heights of the Dirty White Promo earlier but I'm even more hyped for the Mixed Tag Strip The Clothes Match Back Alley Brawl at SMW Bluegrass Brawl 94.

WINNER - PRIME TIME BRIAN LEE'S TAILOR

THE THRILSEEKERS vs. THE INFERNOS

By Pete Hitchcock

Groovy music for these Thrillseekers and boy do we have two prospects here, two young studs if you will. The crowd (sounding suspiciously like they’ve had their screams dubbed in like Roman on a taped Smackdown) love these two debuting Canadian boys, and you know what? They can work.

Fast tags, smooth offence and they dispatch the Infernos in short order without a scratch with a cool double drop kick off the top. That Lance Storm fella can definitely go, but I prefer this Chris Jericho guy. He’s handsome.

WINNERS - THE THRILLSEEKERS BY COOL DOUBLE DROP KICK OFF THE TOP

LADDER MATCH FOR $2500: CHRIS CANDIDO vs. TRACY SMOTHERS

By Greg Cox

The first thing that caught my eye here were the haircuts. A quite spectacular mullet from our presumably hillbilly referee, a bleached blonde Cody Rhodes look for our villain of the piece, Chris Candido and just an honest southern free-for-all perm for our hero, Tracy Smothers.

Our announcer introduces both competitors at an incredible speed, no doubt coked off his tits and ready to get home to his fourteen children. Tracy snogs a woman in the front row, disregards his slightly racist jacket and flag, then the bell rings and we are off.

To be fair the match itself is a pretty stiff, messy affair. We start with a bit of back and forth in the corner, exchanging audibly successful chops to the chest. Once taken to the outside, Tracy gets his hands on the ladder, wallops Chris a couple of times with it and brings it inside. The ladder, it’s got to be said, looks well fucking dodgy but is refreshingly real and obviously not gimmicked in the slightest. The metal bends and contorts every time each competitor handles it, making the potential for injury very high.

Smothers is the first to attempt to climb the ladder but is quickly met with a low blow from our blonde bombshell, Suicide Blonde. The tide soon turns and it is Smothers taking it to Candido, bouncing the ladder off Chris’ head and sending him into the corner, whilst somewhat contained within the ladder.

It’s at this point that my attention turns to the commentary, which for someone who has never watched any Smokey Mountain Wrestling before today, is absolutely indecipherable. A bit ‘King of the Hill’, if you will. They are trying to hype up an upcoming match involving a ‘Dirty White Boy’, where the loser will apparently be stripped naked?!

They have my attention. This is Incredible stuff. By the time my focus tunes back to the action, Candido has somehow wrestled the advantage and more importantly the ladder, away from Smothers.

He powerslams Tracy, painfully, onto the ladder, leaving him strewn across the warping steel. He then rather stupidly heads to the top rope and attempts a splash, with obvious and disastrous consequences. Tracy moves and leaves Candido to smash, knee first into the ladder. Buoyed by this, Tracy takes advantage with a double axe handle and shoulder block off the top rope. He sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring and begins to climb.

Like a flash though, Candido is up and also starts to climb the ladder. Both competitors are now atop the ladder with the greasy cheque within their grasps. Fists go flying as both men try and knock the other to the mat.

They lock up and wrestle for supremacy, both going for suplexes, which would actually be impossible to execute with the rope hanging across the ring. Tracy gets the better of the exchange, pancaking Candido off the ladder to the mat and reaching up to claim his loot and win the match.

Chris Candido is understandably livid and starts to smash Tracy about the ring - well after the bell has sounded. He steals the cheque for $2500 from Tracy and quite rightly shoves it straight down his sweaty pants. Something tells me this ain’t over folks!

But for now it’s time to get my mitts on a VHS tape of Bluegrass Brawl '94 to watch a ‘Dirty White Boy’ potentially get stripped naked, all in the name of good old fashioned southern entertainment.

WINNER - AND $2500 RICHER, TRACY SMOTHERS BY SOUTHERN GRIT