Nerd Watch Wednesday: No Way Out 2006

Mar 31, 202015 min read

Updated: Jun 3, 2020

Isolating in the London suburbs, Gregory Cox has been an absolute diamond in helping out WSBF affairs of late. From quizzing in SHOCKMASTERMIND to reviewing last week's Smoky Mountain main event, he has truly earned his call-up to name the event for a Nerd Watch.

He has gone for a bit of a forgotten classic in No Way Out 2006 featuring a main event between The Undertaker and Kurt Angle that has earned all of plaudits. He was too kind and took whatever was left though - and ended up with MNM v Matt Hardy and Tatanka instead. Tough to take.

Let's get to it!

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE NINE WAY MATCH: GREGORY HELMS (C) vs. NUNZIO vs. KID KASH vs. BRIAN KENDRICK vs. SUPER CRAZY vs. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY vs. PSICOSIS vs. FUNAKI vs. PAUL LONDON

By Dom Van Dam

G’day lads and welcome to No Way Out 2006. So as I have a little bit of extra time on my hands this week, and for the foreseeable future, I had the chance to actually watch the opening package for this PPV. I remember this PPV pretty clearly, not because I ever watched it, but because it happened right when I moved out of home for the first time to go to University.

It was at that sweet spot in my own history when I was unable to afford PPVs, probably able to use torrents to download wrestling, but only interested in using the capped downloads in my share house to watch Ring of Honor.

Hence why I guffawed out loud upon seeing this PPV opener for the first time, to hear Randy Orton state that “Eddie Guerrero is down there, in Hell!” right in Rey Mysterio’s face. That hasn’t aged well. Anyway, let’s see what other ways we can be offended, dear reader, in tonight’s opener.

First we have the entrances, let’s see if anything notable comes about here. Mild mannered reporter Gregory Helms is here, apparently he’s “the best cruiserweight in the World.” Scotty 2 Hotty is dressed like your dad on his way to a BBQ; red checkered shirt, dark jeans and white trainers. The Mexicools (remember them?) are riding their John Deeres (other lawn mowers are available) but there is no Juvi. I guess this was after he got in trouble for being too ‘juiced’. Kid Kash is in this cluster too, I completely forgot that he had a WWE run.

The bell rings and there is a sign in the front row that says “Rossy fears baths”. Harsh on the chairman, but fair. I’m sure that the other wrestlers in this match did some cool spots, but it’s really hard for me to not focus on Paul London. He was without a doubt my favourite wrestler of the Ruthless Aggression era. I definitely used to get my parents to DVR Velocity every week in case he had another match with Jimmy Yang that I could watch when I came home.

There’s loads of stuff happening here, I don’t know why I continue to select these multi-mans, the old Bic (other pens are available) can’t keep up. The finish comes with Kid Kash hitting a vertical drop brainbuster but the pinfall is broken up by a top rope moonsault by Super Crazy. This allows the former Hurricane to slide in to pick up the scraps and steal the pinfall.

Your winner, by lateral press; and still Cruiserweight Champion, mild mannered reporter, Gregory Helms.

Drink lots of water; look after your mates.

WINNER - AND STILL WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION, GREGORY HELMS BY PIN STEAL

JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD vs. BOBBY LASHLEY

By Nineties Mike

So, this is a bit of an odd way to kick this off. Finlay is backstage being interviewed by Kristal, and he points out he came ALL THE WAY FROM IRELAND for a fight and he doesn’t have one. So, he says, “I guess I’ll have to pick a fight”. He then proceeds to pick up Kristal, carry her all the way to the ring and dump her unceremoniously on the apron.

She rolls away, and just as it looks like he’s about to literally assault her, Lashley’s music hits and he runs to the ring. Lashley overpowers Finlay pretty quickly before suffering a vintage low blow. JBL’s music hits, so I guess we get the two-on-one before the bell? He arrives with the long-horn-emblazoned stretch limo and runs to the ring.

Unfortunately for JBL, just as he gets there, Lashley dumps Finlay out of the ring. The referee rings the bell, leaving him, to his chagrin, mano e’ mano with Lashley! Finlay is escorted to the back, and I am wondering what the hell all that was about. So here we go, with undefeated 6ft 3in, 300lb Bobby Lashley facing off against 6ft 6in 300lb JBL. Not quite the mismatch I imagined it would be on paper, then.

Early thumb to the eye sees JBL look to take control, but his attempt to slam Lashley’s face into the turnbuckle pad is blocked and a single punch is enough to knock Layfield to the mat. Bobby forces JBL into the corner now and continues the heavy hitting right up to the four-count. Irish Whip to the other side, but JBL counters Lashley’s charge with a kick to the head and a football tackle.

Crossing running ropes sees Lashley leapfrog all of JBL’s 78 inches of height and a shoulder tackle of his own keeps the momentum on his side, leading to a BIG back-body-drop and JBL is not getting up from that quickly. An elbow drop is next and JBL rolls out for a breather and some advice from Jillian Hall but Lashley chases him outside, leading to JBL using Jillian as a human shield!

He reaches around her and another vicious thumb to the eye has Lashley reeling. JBL tries smashing Bobby’s head into the steps, but Lashley again counters and returns the favour. JBL is really getting nothing in here. With his back turned Jillian hits Lashley with a fucking clipboard. The man who came to stop Finlay beating up a woman then stalks toward Jillian like he’s about to, err, beat up a woman.

He stops, though and decides instead to give JBL a belly-to-belly suplex on the floor! Ouch. Lashley rolls JBL back in and gets the first 2-count. The draping suplex follows, and Lashley looks like he struggled to get him up to be honest. Lashley starts grandstanding, and this gave JBL time to regain his senses and he launches him to the outside.

Bobby is up pretty quickly, but walks straight into a big boot to the face. Now JBL is getting some business done, and follows him out to the floor. Lashley’s face bounces off the steel steps this time, leading to big “JBL sucks” chants. This only angers JBL and Lashley’s face meets the steel steps one more time. JBL taunts and breaks the referee’s 10-count before dragging his opponent back in. He climbs to the top and hits a rather awkward-looking elbow drop, and the tide has completely turned now.

A kick out at just 1 and a half just angers JBL and it looks like his vicious streak is coming out. Clubbing blows to the back and kicks to the head in the corner have Lashley reeling, and a swinging neck-breaker is the icing on the proverbial cake from JBL. Lashley is dazed, and JBL’s face lights up as he realises this. Another swinging neck-breaker and consecutive elbow drops lead to another 2-count.

JBL is really pissed now and they exchange some massive right-hands, Lashley looks to regain some momentum, but his whip into the ropes only leads to JBL locking him in a sleeper hold. The taller and more experienced JBL is wrenching it in and Lashley slowly starts to fade, going down to the mat where JBL tries the pin, but Lashley is out at 2 again. More kicks to the head of a grounded, woozy Lashley.

JBL with the big taunt again gets boos, he goes to the top but Lashley catches him in mid-air, using the momentum for a biiiig powerslam. Could this be the turning point or did the sleeper do enough damage? He hits JBL with several forearm smashes and clotheslines before hitting FOUR belly-to-belly suplexes. Suplex Town, Bitch.

JBL is busted open somehow, and now Lashley has his arms raised, encouraging the fans to cheer. He goes for the Dominator, but JBL slips through. Lashley ducks the Clothesline From Hell though and hits a t-bone suplex (Tazz’s words, not mine), but only gets a 2-count. Ah, here’s Finlay! Now I get it.

He runs in from the crowd, grabs Tony Chimel and throws him rather roughly into the ring. Lashley and the ref (Nick Patrick) are distracted trying to get Chimel out. Lashley hits a clothesline in the corner, but Finlay is up on the apron and hits Bobby with the shillelagh, and JBL follows up with a massive Clothesline From Hell! Bobby is OUT. 1, 2 and indeed 3. Jillian Hall is dancing, JBL is a mess, and Lashley is no longer undefeated.

SUMMARY: Two big guys, two physical specimens (well, one of them), this was only going to be a hard-hitting knockdown-dragout brawl. This was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Confusing why they built up Lashley with a streak, only to lose it to JBfuckingL and Finlay, though. Top sell-job by Lashley after the match to be fair, and he made JBL bleed with four belly-to belly suplexes! Solid stuff all-round.

WINNER - JBL BY FINLAY ASSISTED CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL

NON TITLE MATCH: MATT HARDY & TATANKA vs. MNM

By Gregory Cox

Greg was unable to write the review this week. He was able to send this great summary, though.

"My match sucked but the rest of the matches have been good."

Look after your friends and enjoy the finish of this match in GIF form!

WINNERS - MATT HARDY & TATANKA BY IN STEREO FINISHERS

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: BOOKER T (C) vs. CHRIS BENOIT

By Nick Cook

The Canadian Crippler. The Rabid Wolverine. Toothless Aggresion. The best Technical wrestler ever. Tonight Chris Benoit has the mighty challenge of getting a wrestling match out of the very wooden Bookcase T, sorry King Bookcase at this time of his career.

Now this comes after their 2nd ever best of 7 where Booker got injured and had Orton replace him to win belt! Booker is still claiming to be injured and wants to vacate the title in the ring, and after the inevitable trash talk, Sharmell slaps Benoit. Booker blindsides him and the match is finally underway!

First couple of minutes and there is a lot of knife edge chops both ways. In my opinion, only Walter does them better than Benoit did, before a snap & side suplex from the Rabid Wolverine. Another flurry of chops from Benoit in the corner before Booker tries a roll through and makes a mess of it (I told you he was wooden).

On the outside, Booker is sent into the steps and feigns injury once more - c'mon ref you knows he faking - and manages to get the cheap shot in. A little lull in the action and some very average chain wrestling before Benoit pops a German from nowhere. At this point Sharmell's screeching is annoying me, but its not Brie Bella level yet!

Booker gets Benoit in a headlock which must be for 2 minutes, before another side suplex breaks it up. I think the slow pacing is due to Booker's recent inactivity and it's not helping the match at all. 14 chops exchanged over the next minute or so before Benoit hits the 3 Amigos suplexes in tribute to Eddie Guerrero. Booker kicks out at 2.5 for the closest fall of the match.

Booker hits a big spinning heel kick and then thinks he can fly by going to the top rope, but gets cut off and eats a superplex for his troubles. Irish wipe reversed into a stiff spinebuster by Booker, oh he's off flying again & misses a somersault legdrop of all things!

He's regretting that previous move even more now as 3 non release Germans from Benoit follow. Sharmell runs interference like any good wife should, allowing Booker to hit the scissors kick but takes an age to cover and only gets 2.

Booker goes for a roll up and Benoit counters into the Sharpshooter, but just as he's about to escape transitions to a Crossface and Booker taps immediately to crown a new US Champ! Far from a classic Benoit match, but rough and smooth spring to mind.

WINNER - AND NEW US CHAMPION, CHRIS BENOIT BY CRIPPLER CROSSFACE

WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT SPOT ON THE LINE: REY MYSTERIO vs. RANDY ORTON

By Ross Casey

Eddie Guerrero had sadly died of heart disease just three months earlier and Rey Mysterio (one of Eddie's best friends) would be wearing a black armband, Eddie's merch and even coming out to the ring in his lowrider in these next few months.

Some found it distasteful, and I can certainly see that argument, but for the purpose of making Rey the guy to cheer for at the Rumble from number one all the way through to winning it, I enjoyed what was an emotional win.

Before the match even starts we get Chris Benoit being congratulated on his victory by several superstars, including Chavo and Vickie Guerrero. Benoit then tells Rey he will be doing the same for him, when he wins his match later not just for himself, but for Eddie.

We then get the brilliant pre-match build, showing Rey eliminating Orton last in the Royal Rumble to earn himself a Wrestlemania shot, only for Orton to get inside Rey's head to a point where he accepts a match putting his opportunity to main event Mania on the line.

The way WWE went about this is probably what got the biggest negative reaction. Orton says that Eddie isn't in heaven - but in hell. Then on a following RAW, he states that Mysterio has as much chance of winning at No Way Out as Eddie does coming back to life.

In terms of a heel saying things to get under their opponents skin and making you want Rey to win, this does a fantastic job and a part of me thinks it is a very well structured story that plays on real emotions. However, is it needed or justified? Possibly not. One for the group to discuss in the breakdown of this review.

To the match itself...

Taz makes a great point that Rey has been more vicious and aggressive than ever leading into this match, with Orton clearly getting the best of him mentally. He even goes on to suggest there is a danger of Mysterio losing his head - and his Wrestlemania main event - by getting disqualified in this one. Great analysis.

As the bell rings, you can see several pro Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero signs in the crowd and a loud Eddie chant stops Rey in his tracks before looking up to the heavens. Perhaps this storyline did its job after all?

The match starts with a lockup and chain wrestling - usually this is followed by the trope that a feud this heated shouldn't ever start that way. However, thanks to Taz's brilliant analysis earlier, this kind of makes sense. Cooler heads need to prevail.

Randy takes control in the early portion, using his superior size and strength, whilst adding his cocky, smarmy mannerisms - including mocking Eddie's signature taunt. He is masterful at making you dislike him. The crowd certainly don't as they chant Randy sucks.

It is very, very one sided which is perfect - because no one is better at fighting from underneath in 2006 than Mysterio was in the WWE. The match isn't overly long, so the crowd don't lose interest in their currently fallen hero and once the comeback begins they are baying for Orton's blood.

The momentum of the match then goes in Rey's favour and a kick to the head actually hardway cuts Orton open - adding to the observation that Mysterio is wrestling with a more aggressive style in this feud.

The pace of the match actually proves that too - Rey isn't using anywhere near as many high flying moves as he usually would. The finish comes out of nowhere - but not on the usual RKO style.

Orton goes for the RKO, but Mysterio dropkicks him, which sends him into position for the 619. Randy ducks it, then rolls Mysterio up with the assistance of the ropes to win the match and take Mysterio's Wrestlemania spot. What a dick.

A silence falls over the crowd and Orton cuts a post-match promo from the entrance ramp gloating about his win. Mysterio breaks down in the ring and the crowd don't really know how to react. They don't cheer, applaud, boo or shout. There's a silence and disbelief that Mysterio just lost.

Post-match, Mysterio is in the same hallway that Benoit was being greeted with jubilation. The same wrestlers are now mute and despondent here though, offering looks of both disappointment and empathy. He apologises to Chavo and Vickie before sadly walking out of shot punching a wall as we lose sight of him.

SUMMARY:

Having watched this build, match and post-match, I think that you can argue that the storyline is justified. The match itself is perfectly fine, but it is the emotions stirred from the angle that truly drives me to recommend you go back and watch this.

This is genuinely affecting TV - and Rey plays his part brilliantly. Something that is often forgotten is that he can be an excellent storyteller. Also, 2006 Randy Orton eh? What a brilliant scumbag.

WINNER - RANDY ORTON BY ROLLUP AND ASSISTED ROPE PIN

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: KURT ANGLE (C) vs. THE UNDERTAKER

By Matt Connolly

So this week's nerd watch assignment is for a match I have never seen but only heard great things about. Two of the best to do it right here as Kurt Angle defends the World Heavyweight Title against The Undertaker. The prize isn't only the championship, but also a chance to defend the belt against 'The Legend Killer' Randy Orton at Wrestlemania.

The champ is out first. Mouthguard in, black singlet as opposed to the more recognisable Blue and his ubiquitous Gold medal hanging around his neck. The wrestling machine looks in great shape and carries himself with the usual intensity. Then the famous Dong hits. Blackout. Here is the challenger.

Smoke fills the entrance way as the unmistakable silhouette of Taker looms large. Of course he isn't rushing to the ring, he's taking his time and getting his opponent anxious. You know the drill. We are ready to go. The best pure wrestler vs the best pure striker.

Taker is impressive early doors. He manages to stick with Kurt through some wrestling sequences before his power comes into play and begins to get the better of Angle, including hitting old school only 3 and a half minutes in. Kurt doesn't get a look in until a misplaced big boot gives him an opening.

After some ground and pound, Taker offers resistance but another misplaced big boot leaves him stuck on the top rope, where Angle can smash into him and send him flying into the barrier. The separation he needed. Taker instantly fights back, driving Kurt into the ring post and setting him up for the patented leg drop over the apron.

When he hits this, Cole describes it as vintage because of course he does. Taker motions for a chokeslam but it's too early and Angle gets a kick on the knee. This creates an opportunity for Angle who finally settles on a strategy of attacking said knee.

A figure four around the ring post a highlight of his limb work. Taker is having his knee bent out of shape here but eventually manages a brief bit of rest-bite when he flings Angle through the middle rope. After getting some rare licks in, Taker attempts round two on the leg drop but Angle has wised up and transitions into an ankle lock. Masterful stuff.

Commentary are doing a cracking job of explaining how Angle can even any type of fight with his arsenal. After sucking up more punishment, Taker hits a desperation choke that allows some breathing space (for him at least). He now realises that he isn't going to win this by going technical so he turns the match into a brawl on the outside.

He hammers Kurt with shots around ring side and uses the barriers too. Out of nowhere though, as Taker looks set to put Angle through the announce table, Angle hits an Olympic slam and it is Taker who instead crashes though the desk. Angle well on top and starts peppering blows on Taker. When The Deadman looks unable to make the count back to the ring Angle tells the ref to stop counting!

He wants to win this in the ring and is showing some arrogance/confidence. He goes to put the boots in on Taker again but is instead flung into the steel steps as the match rolls on. Angle still slightly more aware despite the bump. He nails a nasty looking top rope belly to belly suplex which only gets two.

Taker manages a big boot to swing this his way but as he again teases for the chokeslam Angle rolls through and transitions into an ankle lock. Wonderful stuff this. Taker is in the hold a minute before turning it into a choke hold on Angle. Back and forth submissions end when Big Evil finally hits the chokeslam he has been searching for all match.

Into the final stretch and a last ride attempt from Taker is reversed again by the wrestling machine. These reversals really are something. Taker barely able to hang on after the abuse his knee took earlier. Somehow Taker powers out but the energy used leaves him vulnerable and Angle hits the Olympic slam. Of course this still isn't enough to keep the deadman down to the delight of the crowd who are firmly with Taker now after initially being more split.

Straps down from Angle, Sit up from Taker. THIS IS WHY I WATCH WRESTLING! They do the tombstone spot that Taker always hit with the guys he trusted and just when it looks like Taker has taken control, Angle AGAIN manages to wriggle down his torso and synch in another ankle lock. Masterful. Angle doesn't have enough in the tank though and Taker powers out.

Angle has the awareness to hit a second angle slam but as he attempts the pin, he is caught in the Hells Gate triangle hold of Takers once more. This time it's locked in deep. After a few minutes of struggle it looks all over here but Angle flips over into a bridge pin and steals it!

Taker thinks he's won for some reason but his shoulders were down and Angle escapes from this slobberknocker still World Heavyweight Champion. This is elite stuff. Two top guys wrestling for their lives. A classic. I'd recommend this highly.

WINNER - STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, KURT ANGLE BY BRIDGE PIN