Nerd Watch Wednesday: Cyber Sunday 2006

Feb 4, 202015 min read

Updated: Jun 3, 2020

After the triple header of Royal Rumble articles last week, we are back to the archives this time out, with Nineties Mike in the hot-seat. Everyone's favourite DJ and head of the WSBF chant police plunged deep into the network to find Cyber Sunday 2006.

This was the first event called Cyber Sunday, with the two previous years both called Taboo Tuesday. The idea behind the show is that the WWE Universe were in control of creating matchups and match types using online polls.

It's actually a pretty fun premise - we wonder if it should be brought back at some point considering the last one took place in 2008? We are happy to host the polls on our Twitter account, Vince!

UMAGA v KANE

By Matt Connolly

So, for my Nerd Watch this week I have received a real treat as I get to watch one of my favourite wrestlers from the last 20 years of WWE programming. UMAGA! His opponent is going to be decided by a vote but you have probably already seen that his opponent will be Kane.

I would of picked an Umaga match anyway but the fact he is duelling with The Big Red Machine made this a must watch. Umaga out first. He is just so intense already. I love that he got given the age old tough Samoan gimmick but made it the most terrifying version he could. He's not reinventing the wheel or anything but with the face tattoo's and aggressive manner he just seems so scary.

We interrupt his entrance to cut to Todd Grisham and Maria (Kanellis). Todd says 15 million votes have been cast and we will now find out who Umaga will face. Maria questions people who want to face Umaga "He's undefeated, He's Big, He's scary" all points I agree with her about. When I find out who Umaga could of faced I am gutted. Not because Kane is a bad pick, I love Kane, but because the other options were Chris Benoit and The Sandman. I would of watched the hell out of all three of these possible outcomes. Kane wins with 49% of the vote. Benoit last with 23%. Sandman the difference. You can work that bit out, little bit of fun maths in the middle of the review.

Kane comes out. I love the set by the way. Just a massive Computer Screen. I'm sure I'm not alone in wanting themed sets back. Also, I'm sure I'm not alone in wanting Cyber Sunday back. Anyway, apparently there is history here as Umaga beat Kane in a loser leaves Raw match a few weeks back. Vintage four corner pyro from Kane and we are set to go. Early doors Umaga attempts to get the jump on Kane but they end up trading shots. This takes a break when Kane hits the classic uppercut that gains an audible reaction from the audience. Kane loses control however when he makes a schoolboy error of trying to drive Umaga's head into the turnbuckle. Has he never heard about the hard heads from that island?

Umaga hits a headbutt and it's his turn on offence. Basically the first two minutes are changes in momentum around one an-others striking game until Umaga nails the first wrestling move, a belly to belly suplex on Kane. Highlights from the mid section include Umaga just being great. His headbutts are as good as any worked ones out there and his spinning heel kick looks like it could decapitate statues.

The athleticism he has coupled with the mass and physicality God gave him make him the threat he is. "I've never seen Kane dominated like this" quips The King. I only remember seeing it about 30 times during his career when the next over pushed lump of meat needed a W. Kane pretty much gets beat up in the middle but gets some licks in when the action breaks to the outside.

Umaga misses a Samoan spike and whacks the ring post which allows Kane to drive him into the steps. Chance for Big Red to turn this around. Kane's comeback is entertaining. He matches the intensity of the Samoan with clean strikes and hair pulls and the crowd go potty when he rains down shots on Umaga in the corner. They love them some Kane. Well, I guess they voted for it - so no reason not to.

A Samoan drop looks like it's turned the tide for Umaga but as he is conversing with his manager, Kane scratches another box off the Kane bingo sheet by sitting straight up. Kane's chokeslam attempt is foiled by an eye rake. The ref doesn't care so why should I?

The match ends when Kane attempts to cross another box with his flying clothesline but after a distraction he is caught mid air by Umaga. A Samoan Spike later and Umaga remains undefeated. I liked this. As openers go it wasn't balls to the wall but two big lads had a brawl and told a story. RIP Umaga. You were bloody brilliant.

WINNER - UMAGA BY SAMOAN SPIKE

CRYME TIME v THE HIGHLANDERS v CHARLIE HAAS & VISCERA v LANCE CADE & TREVOR MURDOCH

By JCH

Out first in the stereotypical tornado match are the Brooklyn Criminals - Cryme Tyme. They are joined by the Scottish blokes - The Highlanders. The Rednecks - Cade and Murdoch and the slightly out of place Pimp Viscera and Charlie Haas.

The crowd got to vote on whether it was a Texas Tornado, Tag Team Turmoil or Fatal Four Way. The winner is Texas Tornado. Which I think means there are no tags. So it’s a Fatal Four way?

Now if I were to ask you which of these men main evented a Pay Per View last month would you guess who it was? Answer - It’s Trevor Murdoch. Was googling what some of these guys are up to now. Cade is dead. Didn’t realise that.

The Highlanders are massively over here, I feel like they could have a decent match with Murdoch and Cade. They probably did to be honest.

Cade and Murdoch hit a hi-low type move on a highlander and Cryme Time throw them out of the ring and pin him. Oh it’s over. That was short. Post match Cryme Time celebrate with the King and JR and steal King’s laptop.

WINNERS - CRYME TYME BY STEALING THE PIN FROM THE HIGHLANDERS

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: JEFF HARDY (C) v CARLITO

By RJF

So here we are, current Intercontinental Champion out first, Jeff Hardy. Same entrance as alway, less face paint than recent years. Quick cut to some woman not wearing a top and a bloke in a suit to see who was chosen to be the opponent. Carlito, Shelton Benjamin or Jonny Nitro...

With a whopping 62% of the vote. Apparently over 14 million people voted, not sure I believe that. Carlito is the chosen one, his music hits and here he comes. Luckily he had an apple ready to bring with him.

They shake hands and here we go... we start with some grappling and exchanges of roll ups. Neither man can get the upper hand. The crowd is dead, quiet enough to hear one bloke shout “cut your hair Carlito” he then persists to shout this multiple times.

You could literally hear a pin drop in this arena as the boring, slow wrestling continues. They fight to the outside, Hardy runs the rails but Carlito cuts him off with a drop kick. They head back to the ring so Carlitos can kick in a chin lock. Are we in an ad break?

Hardy fights back, it is short lived as Carlito gets his boots into the gut of Hardy. Carlito has given up on the chin lock but instead is now using the bear hug. Epic stuff this. I must say, this is terrible.

Oh shit, what’s this? Another bear hug... great. Hardy breaks it by getting to the ropes, but do not fear, Carlito is able to get Hardy back to the middle of the ring and lock in another bear hug. To quote JR, nothing dangerous, no risks being taken by Carlito. Oh joy, he switches things up finally... and locks in a sleeper hold...

Hardy fights back, and finally gets on top, looks for the Swanton but Carlito gets his knees up. 1, 2.... Hardy just kicks out. Carlito hits a moonsault for another near fall. About 7 people in the crowd have woken up as we get a little bit of noise.

Hardy hits a whisper in the wind from nowhere but just a near fall. “What a match this is” says King, he’s not watching what me and everyone in the arena is watching. Hardy finally hits a Swanton, 1, 2, 3! Jeff Hardy retains, “what a match” says JR, he’s lying, it was terrible. Thank god that’s over.

WINNER - STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, JEFF HARDY BY SWANTON BOMB

TEAM RKO v D-GENERATION X

By Luke Gilchrest

The match build starts with a promo hyping the on going Feud between the two teams. Starting with the creation of Rated RKO and how DX brought Randy and Edge together. DX enter first HHH sporting his T-shirt, trunks and trusty water bottle, Michaels on the other hand his long pants and the ever flamboyant (that we all wanted one of) poncho.

As they make their way down they are high-fiving fans and really working the crowd. In the ring they do there usual, 'To the thousands in the Crown and millions watching at home-' this time they make a penis joke referring to the choices of the special referees before allowing the whole crowd to, 'SUCK IT!'

We get the fan vote to see who would special referee this match between Coachman, Bischoff and Mr McMahon. 60% Bischoff 20/20 to Coach and McMahon. Edge and Michaels start with Edge gaining an early upper hand but that is short lived as Michaels literally makes an, 'ass' out of The Rated R superstar exposing his cheeks to the world and receiving a bare ass spank against the turnbuckle.

Tagging in The Game shortly after, he starts hammering into his opponent with some vicious strikes, utterly dominating the early part of the match DX. Some standard ring manipulation and controlling of Rated RKO HHH dominating Randy after small attempt at a come back a Suplex ending that swiftly. Smooth tags in and out from the veterans who wear down Randy before a blind tag from Edge.

Taking some control in the match Rated RKO start getting some momentum a few tags between Orton and edge. Massive DDT HHH to Edge breaks the flow tagging in HBK. Bischoff's officiating has been really fair keeping the non active half of the tags out of the ring. Single handedly Michaels regains control for DX, some tag work in ring and Shawn heads up top and nails The Rated R Superstar with an elbow drop.

Bischoff is distracted by the game off camera as HBK begins to tune up the band Orton interrupts flooring him and pulling him crotch first into the turnbuckle. Edge recovers and goes for the pin 1... 2.. Kick out!

Some great in ring tactics keeping Michaels in the wrong corner Edge and Orton frequently tagging in and out picking away at HBK. Going for a pin after a short while... 2 count. Another tag Orton wears Shawn down, he tries to recover with a short exchange... Backbreaker on Michaels already damaged back, tag sizing for the spear side stepped taking out Bischoff.

HHH is the fresh man asserting ring dominance quickly... Speared from the blindside attempting a pedigree on Orton. HBK throws Edge to ringside and crossbody over the top - the match really picking up now. RKO! Sub ref 1...2... Kick out! Sizing a second... Reversed and MICHAELS OUT OF NOWHERE SWEEEEEEEET CHINNNN MUSSSSIIICCCCCC!!! Bischoff recovers pulling the replacement ref out of the ring breaking the count at two.

Furious Shawn goes to confront Bischoff... Edge with a steel chair flattening HBK. Chair in hand he enters the ring goes to strike HHH counters... Pedigree... Counter by Orton with a chair shot to the back before The Game could land it. Dropping the chair to the ground between himself and the dazed opponent, Randy hits the RKO on it!!! 1. 2. 3. Rated RKO triumphant over DX.

Summary: Honestly I feel it was a great finish nicely worked in and fantastic execution, the rest of the match was well constructed but still basic with a lot of unnecessary slowing and breaks. I agree with big Dave Meltzer 2.75 from me. Good solid wrestling from all 4 participants but nothing special.

WINNERS - RATED RKO BY RKO

WOMEN’S TITLE LUMBERJACK MATCH – MICKIE JAMES VS LITA (TITLE VACANT)

By Matt Brummitt

Before the match kicks off, the women of the WWE are paraded down the ramp in revealing clothing while Jerry Lawler drools over them. A quick reminder that this is 2006, less than 14 years ago. Mickie comes out first and JR says she can go “psycho” sometimes.

Maria introduces the voting and the Divas Lumberjack match wins. What happened if it was another match type? Would the women have to walk sadly back up the ramp? In other news, I’m flabbergasted that the WWE didn’t call this a LumberJill match.

Mickie is tossed out straight away and gets in a quick scuffle before re-entering. Back in the ring and the standard is very low. I know Lita was influential but she was never a particular good wrestler & she certainly wasn’t in 2006. Mickie is selling pretty well for her though.

The women on the outside are banging on the apron to drum up support for Mickie but the crowd aren’t joining in. Sloppy fallaway slam from Lita. Lita goes for a sleeper but Mickie reverses it into a cross armbreaker (an armbar for the modern audience). That was pretty slick actually.

Mickie is now on top. She gets on the top rope and hooks her legs around Lita. She then flips backwards to bring them both on the outside for our first Lumberjack action since the start. There is a bit of a kerfuffle but then both wrestlers make it back in the ring.

Mickie is still on top & she goes for a spinning DDT off the ropes but it ends in a mess. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be a reversal or not. Lita then goes for the cover and puts her feet on the ropes and Candace holds them but Mickie (kind of) kicks out anyway.

Mickie is distracted by Victoria on the other side and Lita DDTs her for the 3.

Summary: That match wasn’t very good. The sleeper-armbar transition was nice but that’s about it.

WINNER – NEW WOMEN'S CHAMPION, LITA BY DDT

WWE WORLD TAG CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: SPIRIT SQUAD (C) v RODDY PIPER & RIC FLAIR

By Nineties Mike

No need for a storyline update here, but a “pep talk” from Kenny to the rest of his team shows there may be some dissension among the ranks (“who died and made you the leader?”), but a “Champs Til The End” chant rounds things off and we are going to ringside.

First out is, as JR puts it, “a legend among legends”, the Nature Boy Ric Flair, WHOOOOOOO! The fans get to choose who he partners with tonight, and they have to choose between Sgt Slaughter, a rather moody looking “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes (his forehead is very weird as usual). The winner, with 46% of the vote is HOT ROD! That cheers him up! It’s easy to forget how over Piper was with fans in the 80s and 90s, so it’s great to hear the reaction he gets in 2006.

He and Flair hug like the long-time friends they truly are, they have seen it all! It also looks like Piper has eaten it all! Next out are The Spirit Squad, and there’s a big show of bravado as they wave around their tag-team titles. But wait, Flair is ushering someone down the aisle… It’s DUSTY! And SLAUGHTER! Smart of Flair to try to even up the odds outside the ring as well as in. And here we go…

Kenny goes in to lock up with Flair, but Naitch does a bit of stylin’ and profilin’! Now we get a lock up, and Flair quickly takes control before a smooth dropkick gets Kenny the first two-count of the match. Mikey tags in, and Flair evades an elbow drop before tagging in The Rowdy One. Mikey begs off, but gets taken into the corner by a flurry of punches before Piper proceeds to bite his forehead! Kenny tries to break it up but Piper lays him out before the rest of the Squad try, and fail, to halt Roddy’s attack. Mikey locks a sleeper on Mikey, but Kenny pops in and breaks it up. Get a grip, ref!

Mikey tags out, and keeps Piper in their corner for Kenny to take over the beatdown, rubbing Roddy’s face into the canvas before talking some smack. Another tag and some double-team action before another couple of two-counts for The Spirit Squad. Backslide by Piper, but Mikey cuts him off at the pass and tags Kenny back in. Another two-count, and Flair is desperate to get in on the action. Kenny applies a Sleeper, we get the arm-drop submission spot and… SHOCK!

Piper is alive again at 3 to barely no discernible pop. He tries to walk over to Flair to tag him in, still locked in the sleeper, but Mikey distracts the ref and allows Kenny to rake the eyes of Piper. He drags Piper into the corner and tags Mikey in to continue the domination shown thus far. Quick tags follow, keeping Piper locked in the Squad’s half of the ring, but they get cocky, go for a high-flying tag manoeuvre, and Piper moves! Kenny and Mikey eat canvas and we finally get the hot tag. Flair goes postal with some chops and some right hooks.

Kenny is removed, and Mikey is all alone with the legends. The ref has lost control again! Flair locks the Figure Four in, new Tag champs? No!!! Kenny flies in with a big, high leg-drop! He scarpers and Piper goes after him, but NOW the ref wants to stick to the rules and Piper must go back outside. Flair is down and suffering, as is Mikey who, rather than go for the tag, decides to attack Flair, but takes a couple of chops to the chest for his troubles. Flair slaps the Figure Four back on, and Kenny again tries to break it up, only for Piper to cut him off, and Mikey taps! We have new Tag Team Champs!

Now everyone is in the ring! Spirit Squad attacking Flair and Piper before Dusty and Slaughter jump in and the legends clean house!

“It’s 2006 and Flair and Piper are World Tag Team Champions!” Yeah JR, that is weird isn’t it? This was nice clean fun, the right winners, and the crowd gets the legends pop they all came for. Nostalgia should be fun!

WINNERS - NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, RODDY PIPER & RIC FLAIR BY FIGURE FOUR

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: KING BOOKER (C) v JOHN CENA v BIG SHOW

By Ross Casey

This is a triple threat, Champion of Champions match between the World Heavyweight Champion, the WWE champion and the ECW champion. Jerry Lawler calls it possibly the most important match in the history of the WWE and I for one, completely agree with him.

King Booker arrives to his fantastic music, regal get up and Queen Sharmell on his arm. 2006 Big Show is next and here's a hot take, ECW Big Show is the best version of Paul Wight. Absolute monster. Finally, we get John Cena.

Three refs hold the three different championships in the ring, which makes for a cool visual before Lawler admits he has 'Chillbumps' - better get that seen to, pal. Todd Grisham announces that the WWE Universe have voted King Booker to defend his title. His eyes pop out of his head and his bottom lip quivers. Man, I love you Booker.

A desperate Booker tries to make a deal with Cena to make it 2 on 1 against the Big Show, because he's a royal and therefore corrupt. Cena feigns interest before punching him in the mouth.

The early portion of this match is Big Show pulverising Cena whilst a worried Booker stands on the ring step holding his Queen's hand. Show goads him into the ring but Booker refuses, because a Royal does not fight fair.

Eventually, once Cena is flung to the outside, Booker attacks Show from behind, hoping for the quick victory from the blindside. That works out terribly, and it is only John Cena making the save that stops Booker from losing the match to the giant.

Outside the ring Show gets angry and picks up the ring steps, only to get drop toe holded onto them. His head landing in the divot, somewhat comically. This now looks like a singles match between Cena and King Booker, with Show napping on a steel pillow on the outside.

The pair of them put on a very good show in fairness, with the crowd 50/50 thanks to this period Cena being loudly cheered by women and kids and loudly booed by blokes. Highlights of this portion include a lovely DDT from Booker and a wild splash from the top by Cena, which gets an A for effort and F for execution.

Eventually, the Big Show wakes up and puts Cena in an electric chair, before Booker dropkicks him, sending all three crashing to the mat. Show takes control over both men, because he is a bad ass, suplexing both opponents and then chokeslamming each.

Rather than trying to win the World Championship, Big Show takes Cena to ringside but the big oaf gets posted, leaving him to take his second nap of the match. Cena goes for the FU on Booker, but Sharmell enters the ring with the title... so Cena FU's her instead! INTERGENDER WRESTLING! FUCK, YEAH!

Cena locks in the STFU on Booker - but Mike Chioda is attending to Sharmell! That leaves time and space for a run-in FROM KEVEN FEDERLINE! He hits Cena with the title - that one's for Britney, bitch!

John gets up, sees who hit him and mouths what the fuck??! A fair assessment, to be frank.

Booker then strikes Cena with the title and gets the three count as Federline laughs. He actually has great heel mannerisms. Also great merch - his shirt simply says 'America's Most Hated'. Booker cries tears of joy and then carries his prone Queen to the back like the distinguished King he is.

Post match K-Fed gets in the ring and circles Cena with taunts for two minutes before going off the air. How do you end the most important match in the history of the WWE? With the champion of champions celebrating his win? Nah mate, K-FED, whilst commentary plug his new album 'Playing With Fire'!

Lawler was right...

Summary: This is a brilliantly fun triple threat, a breeze to watch. The crowd were into it, the wrestling is decent, you get fantastic character work from King Booker and a motherfucking Kevin Federline run-in! Thumbs up!

WINNER - CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS, KING BOOKER BY KEVIN FEDERLINE