NERD WATCH WEDNESDAY: WWF SUMMERSLAM 98

Oct 2, 201923 min read

Updated: Jun 3, 2020

After putting in the hard graft for weeks putting up with other people's picks, Daniel Wildash has finally taken his chance and come up with a show for us to review. The metalhead has obviously gone for Summerslam 1998, Highway To Hell.

"Ain't nothing I would rather do Going down, party time My friends are gonna be there too... "

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: D-LO BROWN (C) v VAL VENIS

By Ross Casey

Hi WSBF readers. Can I hold your attention briefly to admit something terrible? I haven't seen this match in absolutely years, but from my collection of wrestling VHS tapes from 1986-2000 something, this was one of the few matches I would watch on repeat. Sordid isn't it?

I feel like an addict falling off the wagon going into this. Am I going to go back to my old ways after seeing this, hypnotised by the brass of Val Venis' entrance music? Or will I be convinced that 14 year old me had terrible taste in matches? Let's find out!

Val Venis opens the show with his terrific theme song and he gets some mic time too. "The Big Valbowski has finally arrived in the Big Apple. I came, I saw and I came again." That was spliced with several hotties in the crowd that Lawler yelped about. Simpler times.

D-Lo arrives sporting the glorious European Championship (bring that back, Trips). He is sporting the chest protector that improved his career so greatly, despite suffering the injury months prior. JR even suggests that it has been reinforced to gain an unfair advantage. I bloody love wrestling.

D-Lo's moveset to begin is all focusing around his tits, gaining that advantage thanks to his reinforcements. As a porn star, it's no surprise that Val offers little in the way of defence of the imposing milkers attack. D-Lo misses a splash in the corner and Val responds with some crisp, fact paced offence, making the Nation member powder out of the ring.

The pace these two are going at is actually pretty astounding, it only slows when Venis tries to make a pin as he stupidly poses or plays with his hair for a bit before each attempt. JR ponders if Val Venis' money shot will be effective on D-Lo's protected chest. What a gem of an observation.

The crowd hate D-Lo, and he is doing a great job of keeping it that way. His mannerisms and taunts to them are bringing him more and more heat. D-Lo locks in an absolutely gorgeous Texas Cloverleaf that MSG actually gasps at.

D-Lo continues to work the back after, including catching a jumping nothing from Val off the top into a Lo-Down. That reminded me of Buh Buh Ray in his prime. What a move! The crowd are fully appreciative of their efforts and are bubbling away as this match heads towards the crescendo (steady, Val).

D-Lo hits a DDT that Val sells right on top of his head, spiking himself like a seedy RVD. Oh wait, 2019 RVD is basically Val Venis??! MIND BLOWN. Val hits a butterfly suplex before going up top for the Money Shot... but the knees are up! Should have been wearing a reinforced tit protector, mate.

We then see a horrible moment, where D-Lo drops Val on his head attempting a powerbomb, bringing memories of the tragic events just a year later. The electric crowd dies down at that, which is a shame as they were almost at fever pitch.

They go back to the planned spot and this time D-Lo lands the running powerbomb, which the crowd digs, as do I. He attempts his finisher, the Lo-Down frog splash, but no one is home! This is ace. Val removes D-Lo's tit reinforcer and now the odds are even!

No wait it's 1-0 Val, as he puts the chest protector on! Val is up top to deliver an assisted money shot (lazy boy) but D-Lo pushes the ref into the ropes and he gets crotched. Shortly after, he is able to go up top again, but the ref is bouncing around by him, so he lugs him out of the way, causing a DQ.

D-Lo is announced the winner by DQ and he powders with his most prized possession - the chest protector - as well as his European Championship. Val Venis responds by powerslamming the ref and giving him a money shot to the delight of the crowd. That's some strange babyface behaviour.

With that form, maybe he can get a gig with Rev Pro?

So does it hold up? Is it a worthy favourite from yesteryear? I would say it is definitely worth a watch, it starts off relentless, has a fun story and you see some great movez.

WINNER - AND STILL EUROPEAN CHAMPION, D-LO BROWN BY DQ

THE ODDITIES v KAIENTAI

By Matt Brummitt

Due to my ailing and ageing mind, I seem to find that in the first couple of chapters of a book that I struggle to remember the characters’ names. This is a more pointed issue when either the book has a vast amount of characters and/or they have non-Anglophonic names.

Some authors are sympathetic to dolts like me and try traverse the problem by portraying characters in a one-dimensional way at the start. Others forgo this completely by listing the main participants on the first page so you can always refer back at points of confusion.

Due to the startling array of persons in tonight’s drama, I will opt for the latter, more direct, War & Peace route of a list of players…

THE ODDITIES (COMBATANTS)

GIANT SILVA

GOLGA

KURRGAN

THE ODDITIES (NON-COMBATANTS)

LUNA VACHON

SHAGGY 2 DOPE

VIOLENT J

KAI EN TAI (COMBATANTS)

DICK TOGO

MEN’S TEIOH

SHO FUNAKI

TAKA MICHINOKU

KAI EN TAI (NON-COMBATANTS)

YAMAGUCHI-SAN

SUPPORTING CAST

JACK DOAN

JERRY LAWLER

JIM ROSS

TONY CHIMEL

The Oddities’ entrance isn’t shown because there is no god. Kai En Tai get an entrance which is good because their theme is banging. According to Google Translate “Kai En Tai” is Japanese for “Worried”. I remember it stylised as Kaientai which translates to “Marine Support Corps”. If the latter is correct, they could have made those terrible Cena/Miz movies a lot better with Dick Togo & Funaki providing back up. Though I still prefer “Worried” as a stable name.

There is a sign saying “Golga is a retard”. This is definitely a 1998 WWF crowd. Also Golga is John Tenta (the former Earthquake) who is a bloody legend so shame on you Sign Guy. For those of you that don’t remember The Oddities, it’s probably for the best. I should point out though that they are all massive. For the shithot mathematicians out there, you may have noticed that Kai En Tai have 4 combatants to The Oddities 3. That was not a typo: This is a handicap match.

We start off with Golga (wearing a South Park t-shirt because 1998) and Taka Michinoku (unfortunately he’s not yet with ZSJ as he was 11 at the time). Taka decides to brawl with Golga for some reason and for another reason, it works. Golga no sells his head being smashed into the turnbuckle, and to labour the point he starts headbutting the turnbuckle himself. He then headbutts every member of Kai En Tai because why not.

I should point out here that Kai En Tai are all wearing cut off jeans & t shirts as if they were Los Raven’s Flock De Japon. I’ve completely forgotten about this iteration of Kai En Tai so can’t tell you why this is the case. Golga then steals Yamaguchi-san’s shoe, sniffs it, pours some drink into it, and then tosses the shoe-infested juice into Yamaguchi-san’s face. Am I having a fever dream?

Kurrgan tags in. So does Funaki.

Kurrgan drops to his knees because height difference is very funny, apparently. He then places his hands together and bows because so is xenophobia. He gets back to his feet ant tosses Funaki about. Funaki tries some Irish whips to no avail. His best effort results in a running side slam from Kurrgan. Lawler has been acting like a shock jock since the start. It hasn’t aged well.

It’s now Kurrgan’s turn to clear house on Kai En Tai after they tried a fruitless 3-on-1. Yamaguchi-san receives a bit more abuse too. Giant Silva in now & Kai En Tai look Worried. They argue over who should face him and it ends up being Dick Togo. Silva is the largest Oddity at 7ft 1. His first move is a choke throw to Togo. Taka comes in to help and he & Togo grab a leg each. Teioh & Funaki then jump on their backs and start punching Silva. Silva eventually pushes them all off.

Silva puts all 4 men in the corner and gives them a chest hammer each followed by a big arse smash to all of them. Definite fever dream. Silva’s mates come in and toss out everyone but Taka. Silva then gorilla presses Taka to the outside on to the other 3. Golga tags in as Kai En Tai regroup. Golga powerslams Togo on the latter’s arrival. For those of you keeping score at home, that was the first wrestling move of the night. Golga follows up with an elbow drop.

Teioh & Funaki enter and hit Golga with a double drop kick. They then decide to attempt a double scoop slam. It works! Well done lads for your bravery, confidence, and execution! Funaki hits a diving headbutt from one turnbuckle, followed quickly by a Teioh splash from the opposite one. Then another from Togo. And a final one from Taka. This makes me think that Funaki’s headbutt was supposed to be a splash but he slipped.

Golga gets back to his feet but Funaki & Togo hit him with a drop toehold bulldog combo. All 4 Kai En Tai lads follow up with a series of running elbow drops. Basement dropkick to the head from Taka. Kai En Tai have some momentum here but it’s stopped by a double clothesline from Golga to all 4 of their members!

Golga gets the tag to Kurrgan who beats Kai En Tai up for a bit. As the scales look to tip, Silva comes to Kurggan’s aid. Yamaguchi tries to interfere but Luna intercepts. Kurrgan & Silva both hit double chokeslams. Golga then falls on all 4 men which is good for the 3.

Summary: The first half of this match made me a little wrestlesick. I thought I would be going against the principles of WSBF by going full blown Cornette. Fortunately, after Giant Silva fucked off, Golga and Kai En Tai managed to do enough stuff for me to not to have a breakdown. I mean, it was still a pretty shit match but my mental health is just about intact so let’s call that a result.

WINNERS: THE ODDITIES BY 1998

HAIR v HAIR MATCH: X-PAC v JEFF JARRETT

By Daniel Wildash

The year is 1998. I am 5 years old and this is the first ever PPV I watched live. Summerslam 98. I went into this match, as a kid, with no idea what the fuck wrestling was and, like everyone that age, I thought it was 100% real so when I watched this match, as a kid, a hair v hair match I was like WOAH SOMEONES GONNA BE BALD THATS SICK (all the people in the back I hear you shouting nerd) but I was actually excited. When I chose this PPV I thought I'd revisit this match as I had not seen it since.

Jeff Jarrett accompanied by Southern Comfort Justice to the ring and before this match took place, Fink got shaved bald on Heat. I find it hard to remember a time when Fink wasn't bald. Jeff Jarrett done him a favour anyway. Jerry Lawler agrees with me. X pac out with Howard Finkel. Fink looks so uncomfortable it looks like a 10 year old dressed him. Fink doing crotch chops is something I want at my wedding holy fucking shit this is ridiculous. He does tell Jarrett to suck it which prompts him to be pissed off. He had it on the back of his guitar to not piss him off. That's a bold strategy, we'll see if it pays off for x pac and fink here.

X pac recovers and hits a classic spinning heel kick and clotheslines Jarrett outta the ring Big chops from x pac ends in Jarrett lifting him up and slamming him, nads first, into the ring post. X pac makes it back in for a count of 10 and Jeff continues to apply the pressure. Powerslam by JJ gets a count of 2 from the ref. He puts x pac into the corner and gets reversed into a tornado DDT which ends in a 2 count.

Jerry starts talking about JJ's hair colour and how he's a natural blonde as JJ sticks x pac into a sleeper hold. X pac wakes up at 2 and counters into his own sleeper but gets lifted into the corner and his nads take a battering again. JJ tries to suplex x pac off the top rope, gets launched off and x pac tries a crossbody and misses. Not much happens until JJ puts X Pac in the figure 4 leg lock. Fink is there begging X Pac not to give up. X Pac finally breaks the hold but JJ is looking for it again. Big reversal into a suplex and both men are out on their feet

Both are up as a nice combination of heel kick and the bronco buster has JJ on the ropes but JJ counters into a crossbody which then gets reversed into a pin attempt by X Pac. Big powerbomb by X Pac lands in an incredibly close 2 and 3/4 count. Fink goes up to distract the ref and JJ is notably pissed. He gets hit with the X Factor (still think ITV owe money to the WWE for stealing this) and pins JJ but to no avail.

In come Southern Justice who do nothing but balls this up for JJ as he gets smashed over the head with his guitar. 1,2 and 3 it's over Southern Justice try and drag JJ out the ring but Ass Man and Road Dogg run out with chairs to make sure this guy leaves bald. Jarrett says Mike Keota is full of shit as he gets his blonde locks shaven off Great match for what it was. Solid wrestling throughout and a classy hot finish

EDGE & SABLE v MARC MERO & JACQUELINE

By JCH

This stems from Jackie throwing a table at Sable during an arm wrestling contest and then breaking a trophy on her back Coupled with the former relationship between Sable and Mero this feud is clearly Red hot.

Sable comes out alone and introduces her partner. You think you know me……It’s Edge. Through the crowd. JR is excited. This is before my time. I sadly (or maybe not) missed the Marc Mero run.

Jacqueline does that heel iced tag tactic of tagging in when her partner is in trouble and then running away and tagging out when Sable comes in. Really building up to that moment when Sable gets her hands on Jackie. To be fair when it happens the crowd makes a lot of noise.

Sable clocks Mero as well to a huge ovation. Then she kicks him in the dic when he gets in the ring. Jackie saves him from a Sable bomb and takes control. Not for long though - TKO from Sable to Jackie, but Mero interferes to break it up.

Sable ducks a Jackie forearm and she takes out Mero. Edge hits a suicide dive to Mero on the outside. Taking advantage of his first big PPV match. Jackie jumps on his back so Edge spanks her.

Edge in control of Mero and hits a top rope neck breaker but Jackie puts Mero’s foot on the ropes. Now Edge ducks a forearm and Marc takes out Jackie. These two are not showing great teamwork. Edge crotches Mero on the top rope. Sable in and hits a hurricanrana on Mero.

Jackie tries to break up the pin from the top, but…..you guessed it Sable moved and Jackie hits Mero. Then there is the corner spot where Jackie falls headfirst into Mero’s crotch. Crowd is going wild for Sable.

Downward spiral from Edge, who then hits a wheelbarrow splash, dropping Sable onto Mero for the 3. The Crowd loved that. It was alright. Sable was hugely over, Edge was decent and Mero and Jackie were the worst tag team I’ve seen in years...

WINNERS - EDGE & SABLE BY FACING THE WORST TEAM JAMES HAS SEEN IN YEARS

LION'S DEN MATCH: KEN SHAMROCK v OWEN HART

By Nineties Mike

“The Black Hart” Owen Hart vs “The World’s Most Dangerous Man” Ken Shamrock in a Lion’s Den match is one of the most favourably-remembered Summerslam matches, and it was pretty different from what anyone else in WWF was doing.

The Dungeon Match at Fully Loaded 1998 the month before inevitably saw Owen eventually prevail, but the young Hart was in Shamrock territory now, and it would be a very different story this time around. The video package shows a variety of submission attacks by each man, along with Owen’s trainer Dan Severn, during or at the end of matches, and it’s hard to keep up to be honest.

We’re then shown the rather unique Lion’s Den ring, which was housed in the theatre at Madison Square Garden as they couldn’t fit it in the main arena along with the regular ring. It’s an intimidating structure, and one that I can’t help but think could be used in interesting ways with today’s stars. Kind of a mini Hell-In-A-Cell match maybe? I digress. It’s a tall UFC-like octagon in a steel cage, with an area on top for the referee and a camera man to stand.

Mixed reception for Owen from the rabid crowd, entering the room with Severn. Similar reaction for Shamrock, and he looks like he means business. The door is caged shut, and now we get an Owen chant. Shamrock keeps the lock-up brief and slams Owen into the cage immediately, before his first armbar attempt. Failed submission attempts follow before Hart returns the slam into the cage to Shamrock before a slam and mounting, but Ken reverses and gets the upper hand. Backdrop, and duck into a sleeper, and Hart breaks it with a low-blow, before punches, a headbutt and an attempted whip into the cage, but Shamrock feels no pain and bounces back with a wicked clothesline which floors Owen.

Shamrock now in complete control, and knees and headbutts have Owen reeling, and seemingly bleeding from the mouth, before another clothesline and choking him with his own t-shirt! The audacity! JR almost calls Owen a nugget, before The King reels him in.

Ken continues with knees to the face before using the cage to bounce off of and hit Owen with full force!! Hart really in trouble here, and he’s bounced off the cage again into a high, and hard, hip-toss, but he gets up, avoids a charging Shamrock and slams him into the support beams between two cage panels. Now Shamrock looks rocked, and Owen does it again, before punches and face slams into the cage. The crowd has turned and is now all behind Shamrock!

Shamrock’s face meets the supports again, he looks to counter but gets hit with an enziguiri, and is driven into the fence a couple more times. Vintage Hart backbreaker, followed by a full mount and more punches to the face. The crowd now calling Owen a nugget!

Backdrop counter from Shamrock, but Hart is up quicker and continues the onslaught. Punches traded, but stopped by a knee from Shamrock, and a hard power bomb may finally see the tide turn. More punches from both men, a springboard elbow bouncing off the cage again, before a third attempt is caught and turned into a powerslam and a suplex. Sharpshooter is locked in tight, but Shamrock climbs the cage with his hands and Owen has to break the hold! Amazing!

Low kick from Shamrock, but Hart counters with a spear of sorts. Spinning DDT from Shamrock, and both men have taken a huge amount of damage. Blows traded once again, before Shamrock absolutely levels Hart with a clothesline and a spinning kick. Shamrock AGAIN sent into the support s and Owen takes advantage, locking in a reverse chokehold previously used on Shamrock by Severn, but he escapes by walking up the cage!

Shamrock takes down Hart with the Fujiwara arm bar and transitions in to the ankle lock. Severn threatens to throw the towel in, but in the end just walks away in disgust. Hart is tapping, and we have a winner! The bell rings, and Shamrock eventually lets go of the hold, climbs the cage and the crowd love it! This was different, fun, and there were some great spots from Shamrock, giving Hart his comeuppance.

This was the end of the feud, with Owen moving onto face Edge, and Shamrock facing a triple threat to determine the WWF Championship #1 Contender at Breakdown: In Your House 24.

WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: MANKIND (C) v NEW AGE OUTLAWS

By Charlie Robery

Summer Slam 1998. Highway To Hell. A PPV I remember quite well strangely. It was on August Bank Holiday (google it)...how we’d love it scheduled for a bank holiday again. Progress then SummerSlam anyone?

My match today is for the WWF Tag Team Championship, the New Age Outlaws (challengers) and Mankind (Champion). ‘Champions, you mean?’ Nope. His partner Kane is nowhere to be seen (Euro 2016 all over again), so Mankind will be defending by himself in a no DQ handicap match. Gutted, Mick.

First coming down the classic shortened Madison Square Garden aisle is Mankind. Shirt like he’s been on the piss all weekend, tie from school. Next up are the Outlaws. If anything screamed 1998, it’s 2 members of D-Generation X wearing South Park T-shirts. No Chris Sutton shirts today, JCH!

The dumpster, being wheeled to the ring, is of course because the NAO threw Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack) and Chainsaw Charlie off the walkway in said dumpster. Bin juice under your finger nails, can’t wait. Little game for those of you reading this; count how many wrestling moves happen in this match. You definitely won’t need your toes to tally them up. It’s a fight and it’s great. It’s all go from start to finish.

A ‘sword fight’ (not that kind..) with chairs between Mr Ass and Mankind, just a snippet of what was so ridiculous about the Attitude Era. I wonder if we’ll see a return to that with the AEW competition? A Chris Benoit size headache, that. This one really flies by and the double team on the chairs just doesn’t seem to be putting Mankind away. Like that cow in the middle of the road in Me, Myself & Irene (1999, close), he just won’t die!

Finally, the pin comes, as a spiked piledriver onto the title sees new champions crowned. Not happy with that, they stick him straight back in the dumpster. Get in the bin, dude…love!

But that’s not all, as Kane (there he is..) pops up out of the dumpster with a sledgehammer and lets Mankind know what he thinks about him losing the belts. Carnage. It was silly, but it was fun. Well done Attitude Era, you’ll always be the one for me.

WINNERS - AND NEW WWF TAG CHAMPIONS, NEW AGE OUTLAWS, BY SPIKE PILEDRIVER

WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH: THE ROCK (C) v TRIPLE H

By Luke Heffernan

Are you ready? Asks the lead singer of that band that sung the DX theme, aptly named ‘The DX Band’ (Writers note: I googled to see the artist to make some form of gag or joke to discover he passed away in 2016. RIP Chris Warren)

Swiftly moving on from that HHH enters the ring alongside the ‘ninth wonder of the world’ Chyna. He is rocking his long purple pants which is certainly a top 3 HHH look along with the equally purple underwear he rocked in the early 00’s. Do You Smell what the Rock is cooking booms around MSG as the Intercontinental Champion follows as confident as ever strutting down to the ring. He is flanked by Mark Henry and is eying up the ladder that stands alone in the entry ramp.

The Rock only made his debut in this very arena 2 years ago at Survivor Series but you’d me miffed to think that given how much of a natural he looks. I must remind you that in this stage of their careers The Rock was very much ‘the bad guy’ and Triple H ‘the good guy.’ As the leaders of warring factions Nation of Domination and DX, Rock and Trips paths have and do cross a number of times throughout 1998 through the verbal and physical forms. This match would serve as a prelude to not only the battles they would have across each man’s career but as a prelude to their real career itself. Neither had really made it to the top quite yet but not long after they certainly will. The Intercontinental Title is hooked and both men jaw before the match commences.

As the match starts I’m reminded just how much of a big fight feel JR made these matches feel. Running down each mans height weight and accomplishments as they battle for early supremacy. Triple H ends up going for a pedigree when The Rock reverses and dumps him outside over his head. Rock goes for the ladder early when HHH makes a quick recovery and jumps him from behind. Seeing HHH going at it in that narrow MSG ramp is something that will become quite iconic in less than 18 months time.

After rolling Rock in the ring, it is Helmsley’s turn to go for the ladder… and Rocky’s turn to jump him from behind before he does. We are reminded Henry and Chyna are at ringside and wonder what factors they will be. We finally see the ladder used as a weapon when Rock uses it to rebound Trips off before delivering a clothesline nearly knocking HHH out of his boots. Following that Rock puts up the ladder in the ring at a very slow pace (ladder match trope) giving HHH the chance to knock him down jumping off the top rope. Yes HHH went to the top rope!

After a replay is shown we come back to Trips just teeing off on The Rock with the ladder. The tide is quickly turned when Hunter tries to claim victory while climbing very slowly (ladder match trope #2) and Rock pulls him off (ooh-ah) landing swiftly on his legs Rock wastes no times to keyhole that and delivers blow after blow. “one legged man in a butt kicking contest is not very useful… or a ladder match I’d think’ Poetic from Jim Ross.

Rock continues to go full Bret Hart for the next couple minutes honing in and attacking the leg. Using chairs and the ladder itself a few JCH like fans ‘break his leg rocky, break his leg’ bloody disgusting. Given his opponent is nearly an amputee Rock attempts to climb the ladder when he is thwarted by Zach Gowen himself. HHH smartly kicks the ladder out with his good leg to buy himself some time to recover. We go to the outside when The Rock once again takes control and executes a vicious slingshot in to the leaning ladder.

Both men end up going at it in the walkway with reckless abandonment. Jim Ross booms out he’s never seen two young men with such a high level going at it this competitively. Sexual Chocolate rolls in another ladder which he is rewarded with by a right hand by Helmsley and Chyna. Using the distraction Rock gets inches away from the title when he is pushed off last second by a fatigued HHH. Triple H takes momentum when he lands an excellent baseball slide using the ladder as a weapon in to The Rock. We then have a reverse of the spot earlier with HHH being inches from the title and now Rock provides the last second save. Comms point out the Rock is busted wide open and running off instinct. Both men are really selling how they are neck to neck in ability.

The match goes back and forth back and forth throughout and neither really give an inch meanwhile making their opponent appear as they are pushing one another to the absolute limit. The Rock hits Helmsley with a peoples elbow on top of the ladder to the JCH crowds cheers. Bloody smarks. The heroic Helmsley recovers when he hops to the middle of the ladder, is yanked off and caught mid air with a Rock Bottom. The fans are going bloody mental.

Rock follows up with a climb of his own, is yanked off by his underwear and Pedigreed. The Garden pops hard. Triple H tries to pull himself to his feet (foot?) when Henry blinds Hunter with a bag of flour. Going off feel Hunter climbs the ladder and is greeted by right hands from the champion. Holding on with his fingertips Hunter punches back while Chyna slides in and hits Rock with the low blow. Rock falls, Hunter rises and GRABS the Intercontinental Championship.

I really can’t overestimate just how good Jim Ross is in this match. You’d have thought HHH had just gone through the Battle of The Somme as a war hero with the way JR is praising his bravery and gall. Truly spectacular. DX comes out to celebrate with the newly crowed champion and we are given highlights of a truly excellent match.

One of my favourite Ladder Matches of all time and if proper play by played could easily be a dissertation! This match was not only the crowning of a new Champion but maybe the crowning moment of the beginning of these men's legendary careers.

WINNER - NEW WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, TRIPLE H BY BRAVERY AND GALL

WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (C) v THE UNDERTAKER

By Matt Connolly

So, this week I am yet again tasked with the Main Event. Stone Cold Steve Austin defending his WWF championship against The Undertaker.No arguments that a match of this calibre is befitting of headlining any PPV.

Taker out first. The Madison Square Garden entrance means that a few knobheads can try and grab Taker and his oversized cape collar. Ever the pro he ignores them and approaches the ring in a fully focused fashion. It's classic Taker of this period. Mood Lighting, smoke machine doing bits and as the house lights raise we see his Pupils rattling around the back of his head. No Paul Bearer in tow but we are told on commentary that Kane is not going to be here. Foreshadowing? I can't honestly remember. I hope so though because Kane is a boss in any era.

The camera cuts to a "Goldberg is the boss sign". Someone in the truck is getting a slap. Austin comes out, to literal shattered glass. The pop is of course Mega. The swag to the ring is there. The fans try even harder to grope Austin than they did Taker. It even gets one disapproving look from the rattlesnake but he manages to stay composed. Oh for Gods sake. I kind of knew it but bloody Hebner as Ref again! I can smell the shenanigans from here.

Austin and Taker exchange shots in the corner early and Hebner literally exits the ring. JR says he doesnt want to get inbetween these two men. Hire someone with a set to do the job then. Anyway, crowd really into the early exchanges even if none of it sets the world on fire. Oh, Hebner is back to tell Austin to stop using a closed fist. I mean, we have only had 30 seconds of literally that beforehand but this joke ref's in such a unique and terrible manner I'm not suprised by any of it.

We get a section featuring some technical type wrestling. It's not Sabre Jr. but it's decent from two bigger dudes, if not a little slow. Eventually Taker sends Austin into the ropes but lifts his head too quick and nails Austin accidentally. This is a moment I have only remembered when seeing it. Apparently it really knocked Austin for six!

The match falls apart momentarily here as nobody is quite sure how to react. Before too long it's back to offence though and to be honest it's all fine stuff and you can't tell anything has gone wrong. There doesnt seem to be much of a rythym to the match though as offence is sliding back and forth so much. Taker eventually sets about working Austin's back but it never really clicks for me. I don't know if it's a lack of sympathy for Austin or the fact that none of the submission work is really leading to anything. Crowd has died down alot too from that start.

Taker goes for Old School but Austin reverses with an arm drag and the crowd pop for it. He's putting the boots to Taker's knee and I'm coming around because Austin had worked the knee earlier but my attention is then instantly drawn to KANE!!! The Big Red Machine is here!

Fantastic. He looks awesome, but Kane pretty much always looks awesome. Especially during this period. Austin looks a little nervous. Undertaker is having none of it though and tells Kane to get lost. He wants to do this on his Jack. After hanging about for a few seconds he takes the hint and returns to the back. Match breaks down into strikes again before Austin takes the leg of Taker out. I'll give this some credit now they are attempting a story here. Then we get a big spot as Taker drags Austin from the apron over the top rope with a running chokeslam. It looks messy but in a good way. As if he really just flung a dude across the ring by his throat. Good stuff.

Both Men struggle to their feet before Austin clotheslines them both over the top rope to the outside. We get some brawling around the table followed by the obligitory Crowd tussle. This is always worth a cross in the box if playing Austin match bingo. Of course useless bastard Earl just follows along without counting.

Eventually after a few minutes we are back in the ring and Austin attempts a Stunner but Taker quite impressively rolls over the top rope to the outside to avoid it. As Austin attempts an axe handle Taker catches him and drives him into the ring post back first. I take back what I said earlier. Both Men have attempted to work a body part regulaly. I jumped the gun. Still, it's fairly plodding.

Back in the ring for only moments before Taker flings Austin to the outside. He lays Austin out on the announce table (Spanish of course, it's the Attitude Era) and heads to the top rope. This is outrageous behaviour from the Seven Foot Deadman. He hits a leg drop and incredibly the table doesn't break! Makes the impact look more brutal though as both men lay in a heap under the table. After a minute checking if both Men are alive Hebner then starts a count. Whatever. He gets to 3 and we are back in the ring.

Taker leads the offence for a bit before a mid air collision. Strikes back and forth before a Lou Thesz press which the crowd go barmy for. Taker manages to take control eventually though and nails a chokeslam before signalling for the Tombstone. Austin reverses before a messy exchange ends with Austin being dumped on the rope. Taker hits a Russian Leg Sweep, excellent technique.

As Taker attempts Old School for the second time Austin catches him mid flight and hits a quite obvious low blow that Hebner doesn't see because he's Hebner. I mean, I know I give the guy no breaks but this really is woeful officiating. Anyway, you know the drill from here. Stunner. Crowd lose their minds. 3 count. Beers. Austin is still your champion. Hebner is forever useless.

WINNER - AND STILL WWF CHAMPION, STONE COLD BY STUNNER, BEER & USELESS HEBNER