Part and parcel of being a wrestling nerd is staying up late to watch live shows in America and getting up early to watch shows in Japan.
This Saturday, we are all setting our alarms to watch the WWE show at the MCG in Melbourne, Australia at 9am. Perfectly acceptable behaviour in my opinion. It's the first big show since the Global Warning event in 2002 at Melbourne’s Etihad Stadium, setting an entertainment attendance record of 56,743. This show will be in front of almost double that huge crowd!
Here I ask six questions about the incoming show to the nerds in our latest roundtable.
First things first though.. here is the card!
LAST TIME EVER MATCH - TRIPLE H (w/ HBK) v UNDERTAKER (w/Kane)
SIX MAN TAG - THE SHIELD v DOGS OF WAR
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP - AJ STYLES (C) v SAMOA JOE
SIX WOMAN TAG - RONDA ROUSEY & THE BELLAS v THE RIOTT SQUAD
SMACKDOWN WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP - BECKY LYNCH (C) v CHARLOTTE FLAIR
TAG TEAM MATCH - JOHN CENA & BOBBY LASHLEY v KEVIN OWENS & ELIAS
#1 CONTENDERS MATCH - DANIEL BRYAN v THE MIZ
SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP - THE NEW DAY (C) v THE BAR
WOMEN'S TAG - ASUKA & NAOMI v THE IICONICS
WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP - CEDRIC ALEXANDER (C) v BUDDY MURPHY
Now that you know the card. let's ask the nerds how they feel about the show this weekend...
ON A SCALE OF 1-10 HOW EXCITED FOR THIS SHOW ARE YOU?
Simon - 5/10 low only because it’s gonna be on early and I’ll be severely hungover!
Ro - 7/10
Charlie - 7/10. Great card, but on the back of Greatest Royal Rumble, not sure if we’re in for another glorified house show. Excited all the same...
Greg - I’d say a solid 6/10 excitement. But more curiosity and intrigue really.
Mat - 8/10. It's my hometown show!
Jake - Which show is this?
Pete - 5/10. Which is probably better than 10/10. I will watch it over a long coffee and breakfast and probably enjoy it, which is frankly just fine by me.
Rob - 1/10.
Ross - 8/10. A good card in front of what should be a hot crowd at a sociable time for us nerds. Lovely stuff.
Muhammad - Minus five stars. If I had the network I'd probably watch it though for the novelty of watching a PPV in the morning and in the faint hope it would be anywhere near as good as Beast in the East.
James - About a one. I'm going to be in the air during the show. And unless it has terrific Wi-Fi streaming....I hadn't thought of this. Could be a more uplifting way to spend a flight than the series of Killing Eve I've downloaded (legally off IPlayer). If United Wi-Fi is great a 7. Else it's a one, as I won't watch it.
Ryan - 3/10.
Dom - My excitement levels were comparable to when mum would wake teenage me up at 7am on a Sunday for Church until I started thinking about my answers for this Roundtable. I was trying to think about the match I’m most excited for and remembered that we get the returning hero Buddy Murphy wrestling for the CW Title in front of his home town! Plus Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and American Dragon wrestling in matches where the outcome actually matters and The Shield in six-man tag action where they’ve never once disappointed on PPV. I’d say I’ve peaked now and I’m buzzing at a 3 out of 10.
Robin - 4/10. Pretty indifferent but I'll give it a watch.
WILL THE AUSSIES GET HOME FIELD CHEERS?
Simon - Buddy Murphy definitely, but I’m not sure about The IIconics. They kinda annoy the piss out of me.
Ro - Aussie Aussie Aussie WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!
Charlie - 100%
Greg - Aussies will go over big. In fact I think the atmosphere will be absolutely amazing throughout.
Mat - They’d fucking better.
Jake - Oh that's why it's early. Yeah, guess so. Dem Iconics are Aussies so I imagine they'll get a few Aussie Aussie Aussies.
Pete - Absolutely. Although I think Asuka and Naomi will also be fine in terms of reactions. Not sure about Cedric.
Rob - Anyone who looks like they've ever drunk a beer and/or punched a woman will get home cheers.
Ross - I am expecting Buddy to get cheered but The Iiconics to do the classic trash on the home crowd promo. Which should be good, I find them very funny.
Muhammad - What Aussies? Emma is gone. Oh those girls that used to look better in NXT before they got too heavy? Who cares.
James - I hope so. Bloody better do. Buddy Murphy is in ring MVP 2018. Iiconics are annoying mean girls.
Ryan - The Aussies love to back their own, so yes!
Dom - Bloody fucken oath they will mate. Anyone who reckons otherwise has Roos loose in their top paddock.
Robin - Actually had to look up who were the Aussies, had no idea Buddy is and now I know my prediction of Cedric retaining is correct because Vince loves to shit on a homecoming!
MATCH OF THE NIGHT?
Simon - AJ vs Samoa Joe 100% - I love how personal this rivalry has become.
Ro - Shield vs Dogs.
Charlie - Shield vs Braun’s boys. When do the Hounds of Justice not turn it on?!
Greg - MOTN will be Samoa Joe vs AJ Styles.
Mat - The Bar v New Day.
Jake - Samoa Joe v AJ Styles.
Pete - New Day vs THE BARRRRRR or Cedric vs Murphy.
Rob - Surely AJ v Joe?
Ross - For work-rate I think Cedric v Murphy if they get 10+ mins. If not, The Bar and New Day have amazing chemistry as do Joe and AJ. Hedging my bets massively there, eh? Paying three places, right?
Muhammad - What's the card again?.... Let's go with AJ/Joe if they are given time and freedom to show what they can do (Spoiler: they won't be)
James - MOTN will be Cedric and Buddy. They are good and will be giving a shit. They had a banger in Cedric's hometown now repay the favour in Melbourne. Also it's the only match that's not a house show six-man, involves retired people or has a Bella in it.
Ryan - AJ Styles v Samoa Joe.
Dom - Match of the night has to be Murphy winning the gold. Richmond and Collingwood drew 100,000 to a prelim final at this venue 2 weeks ago. Imagine the drama that this will bring. Buddy Murphy solidifies himself as 2018 most improved and on the ballot for MVP here.
Robin - AJ v Joe. They're just consistently very good performers aren't they? Shield v DoW could nick it though; I'd like to see something reminiscent of that Shield v Wyatt's six-man from a couple of years ago at Elimination Chamber.
WILL TAKER v HHH BE ANY GOOD?
Simon - I bloody hope it’ll be good! I don’t think this will be the end between these two so I’m expecting a few twists.
Ro - Only if we see a bald HBK
Charlie - It’ll be okay. Nothing more.
Greg - The Taker HHH match won’t be good but will be great fun I reckon, with a few fun shocks and surprises.
Mat - No.
Jake - The entrances will be?
Pete - I doubt it. I'm more concerned about whether it will be train wreck-fun or just awful.
Rob - Two fucking knackered old orange blokes wobbling around a ring? It'll essentially be a game of WWF No Mercy but the only button that works is the analogue stick.
Ross - HHH matches at Mania against Sting and Angle prove he knows how to layout a match with two old-timers in there and I expect this to be better than most expect.
Muhammad - Yes. I'm not sure how popular an opinion it is but I liked all of their Mania matches. It's not going to be a work rate classic but they are both capable of using both storytelling and smoke and mirrors to cover their shortcomings and elevate their match above most of the card.
James - No. Didn't like these guys 20 years ago, didn't like them 10 years ago. Certainly don't like them now. Sometimes I really wish you were Dead...man.
Ryan - Heart says yes, head says no.
Dom - Taker and Hunter will be good. It’s a main event in front of a packed stadium. The entrances, the lights, the story, the kick outs. We will have seen it all before and it will have been better in the past, but the build up has been fun and they will tell a story. Two old gunslingers back in town, to finally settle that score.
Robin - In theory it's going to be both horrific and sad in equal measure. But I feel they'll pull something out the bag with some novelty/nostalgia kick which will distract from Taker's pretty limited physical capabilities i.e. HHH v Sting at Mania 31, which I loved.
DO YOU WANT TO SEE HBK BREAK HIS RETIREMENT?
Simon - Yes. Any excuse to sing his theme song!
Ro - Only if he's bald.
Charlie - I don’t. I know money talks and wrestlers are bullshitters when it comes to this type of thing, but he went out so perfectly. Is the pay check worth it? ‘One more match’ would’ve been better against Bryan or AJ. We’ve seen him against Taker and Kane.
Greg - I’d rather HBK stayed retired. Unless he can still produce the goods. He went out on top, so it would be a shame if he Ric Flair’d it all up.
Mat - I never liked him - so I’d rather shit in my hands and clap.
Jake - No.
Pete - No. But I can't begrudge a man making shit tons of oil money. I probably would too.
Rob - Nope. Unless it's against Brie Bella.
Ross - I love the fact that he has stayed retired since the incredible match against The Undertaker. It's been eight years which is far longer than most wrestlers last before getting the itch. Personally, I feel like it sullies that moment at Mania 26, but it is his career and bank account I guess.
Muhammad - As I've told many, many women (two) sometimes things end in the best way possible (prematurely). HBK is the GOAT and he had the second best retirement ever, unlike Flair he hasn't sullied his reputation by coming back which essentially makes his the best. I don't want him to come back as a shell of himself and show everyone that he's lost a step, we've already got the main event for that. I'd rather remember him in his prime and not have the youth of today assume that the 'H' in HBK stands for hip.
James - Not with the Undertaker. Possibly with Chad Gable. Or Walter.
Ryan - Nobody needs to see a bald HBK.
Dom - If he did it’d be excellent. Not sure if it’s best for his legacy though. Every year he stays away people remember him more fondly.
Robin - Not only do I not want him to wrestle another match, I believe he should be arrested if he ever does for breaking the terms and conditions of his Streak v Career match.
WHICH AUSSIE CELEB DO YOU WANT TO SHOW UP AND HOW WOULD YOU BOOK IT?
Simon - Tim Cahill to elbow Baron Corbin and be GM for the night. He can give him his trademark jabs on the turnbuckle while he’s at it.
Ro - Chris Hemsworth AKA THOR (from Melbourne) vs Roman Reigns in a tuxedo match... they both lose... so they both get NEKKKID.
Charlie - Elias shitting on Australia and their music scene only for Angus Young to cut him off with a classic AC/DC riff.
Greg - Do I know any Aussie celebs? Maybe Hugh Jackman doing a duet with Elias, then going full Wolverine? Or have Kane bring out Steve Irwin‘s coffin and raise him from the dead. Just to chokeslam him to hell.
Mat - Dom’s brother had a couple of viral videos recently, so for me it would be him being a guest referee or something.
Jake - Ian Thorpe. He faces Kurt Angle in a 'Olympic Gold Medals on the Line' match. He loses to an angle lock that Kurt performers using a monkey wrench in order to reach around his massive flipper-like feet.
Pete - Kylie Minogue shoots a double on Becky Lynch after her match regardless of result and makes fun of her acting. Didn't see Lynch in Holy Motors (what a film) did you? I just can't get you out of my head...
Rob - Rupert Murdoch. (*He didn't give an angle, but let's assume it's something near the knuckle.)
Ross - Did you know that big Aussie Nathan Jones helped The Undertaker secure another year of his Wrestlemania streak in a handicap match against Big SHow and A-Train at Wrestlemania 19? Taker never thanked him... time for payback, Nathan!
Muhammad - HHH is struggling to beat Taker who won't stay down. He retrieves his sledgehammer and holds it high above his head intent on sending Taker back to Death Valley. As he goes to swing he is blindsided by a didgeridoo wealding Rolf Harris. Book it.
James - Get Dave Warner and Steve Smith to come down and rub sandpaper in my eyes during any Bella appearance. Be more enjoyable!
Ryan - Hugh Jackman punches Dolph again.
Dom - David Warner. Cutting a heel promo taking responsibility for the sandpaper and calling Moeen Osama. Heat.
Robin - Paul Hogan as 'Hollywood' Paul Hogan. Would just have him out there flexing and talking trash for five minutes before Hulk Hogan comes out and drops the big boot and leg drop on the 78 year old to send the crowd home happy.
Thanks to all nerds who took part... hope you enjoyed hearing our varying views. Tune in to the show tomorrow to see how many of our wild predictions fall wide of the mark!
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