This is the second of three of our Bumper Nerd Watch Wednesday Royal Rumble content today!
The following is an alternative review of the 2020 Women’s Royal Rumble where we’ll be looking at each wrestler’s journey throughout the Rumble, instead of the usual chronological play-by-play.
The entrants will be in order of time of elimination, rather than entrance spot, so we finish with the winner. We will still list the spot numbers next to the entrant’s name for clarity.
5) Lana (Reviewed by Brum)
Ffs I got Lana.
Lana comes out and cuts an average promo. I don't really watch the main roster anymore - when did Lana do a Kofi with her accent?
For her first in ring action she tries to eliminate Mighty Molly to no avail. For her second she messes with Mercedes Martinez and gets a beating and ends up struggling on the apron.
Liv comes out no 7 and eliminates her straightaway! Liv then goes up to the top rope but the eliminated Lana pulls her off to the floor to eliminate her too. Cat fight ensues. Fin.
7) Liv Morgan (Reviewed by RJF)
Guessed she’d be arriving soon after Lana, she heads to the ring and eliminates Lana right away. Lana gets pay back and eliminates her from the outside after Martinez had got her into the apron. Lana and Liv brawl until separated by the refs. Gets the first elimination of the night but has one of the shortest time in the ring.
3) Mighty Molly (Reviewed by DVD)
Our third entrant in the Women’s Rumble is a blast from the past, ready to rock you like The Hurricane. Holly has been in previous Rumbles as herself but this year she appears as her babyface incarnation of the superhero. Holly’s stay is short as even though she hits some high spots, she runs in to the incredibly impressive Bianca Bel Air and is the EST’s first elimination of the evening.
6) Mercedes Martinez (Reviewed by Ross)
A decent pop for someone who has barely been on NXT let alone WWE TV. The 90 seconds after her entrance was her showcase, hitting power moves on all competitors. She played a part in the Liv and Lana eliminations and then had a great strike exchange with Sonya Deville, before taking TOTAL ELIMINATION from Fire and Ice and getting dumped by them both after 08:14.
Positives: Decent pop and a nice showcase. Negatives: Didn't eliminate anyone.
4) Nikki Cross (Reviewed by Connolly)
So here at Number 4 is fomer Sanity alumni Nikki Cross. As luck would have it her tag team partner Alexa Bliss is one of the participants so a bit of teamwork is surely afoot. They double team Mighty Molly and Bianca Belair and nearly eliminate both Women.
However, this isn't the case and Belair shows her dominance by planting Nikki as she is shuffled into the pack in the early stages. Cross is eventually elminated by Belair after being a top best mate and saving Alexa from elimination. She lasted 15 minutes. 7th longest in the rumble. A decent showing but improvent needed for next year. A selfish streak and a better number would help too.
8) Mandy Rose (Reviewed by Ross)
I've taken Mike's number here and it's my birthday so I refuse to spend too long thinking about Mandy Rose, it will make Otis jealous. The brilliant spot where Mandy was thrown out only to land on a prone barrel chest of her new oddball fancyman was an excellent one and the crowd loved it. She didn't win though.
10) Sonya Deville (Reviewed by Pete)
Pete didn't do his reviews this week but I think it would have looked like this…..
Out at 10, it's KATSUYORI SHIBATA!!!!
Shibata's second appearance in this year's Royal Rumble is short lived.
Recreating his classic Sakura Genesis 2017 match with Okada, Shibata hits Mandy Rose with a brutal headbutt as a trail of blood drips down his forehead. He is eliminated by a braided version of himself.
9) Candice LeRae (Reviewed by DVD)
Can we please give it up for Candice’s gear? She is channeling Shawn Michaels in 1995 with the red and white stripes and tiger stripes. Incredible stuff here. Unfortunately that’s the real highlight of her Rumble match and Bel Air cuts her “boyhood dream” short. Victim number 5 for The Fresh Princess.
11) Kairi Sane (Reviewed by Luke)
Kairi Sane draws #11 in her 2nd Rumble appearance and as she runs down to the ring I remember my excitement for her Rumble debut the year before when she was the NXT Women's Champion.
One year on she is still decked in gold and is still as likable as she was then. Bumping in to the camera man and given the camera man a threatening glare, Kairi enters with a massive purple and white spinny thing. I am uncultured and don't watch RAW so... apologies. Kairi is the focal point for her first 90 seconds in the ring and hits Candice LeRae with the brilliant Insane Elbow drop that I momentarily thought WWE production would miss.
Silly me, they would never do such a thing. Kairi doesn't really get up to much post-elbow other than attempting to eliminate LeRae and when attempting to hit another elbow, this time on Mia Yim, Kairi is slapped to the floor by Alexa Bliss after 05:22.
14) Tamina (Reviewed by Luke)
Ughhhhhhhhhh. I think the only female in the entire wrestling world I wanted to win this match less than Charlotte was Tamina. Absolute charisma vacuum. Goes out after 39 seconds after starting on Bianca Belair, only entrant worse than Santina.
12) Mia Yim (Reviewed by Ross)
I've taken Mike's number here and it's my birthday so I refuse to spend too long thinking about Mia Yim, it will make Keith Lee jealous. I can't remember anything that she did off the top of my head, but I do like her a lot. Didn't win, though.
15) Dakota Kai (Reviewed by RJF)
No one cares. Guessing Nox will be out soon... I was wrong, Chelsea Green out next and instantly eliminates Kia who did nothing for here 2 minutes in the ring.
16) Chelsea Green (Reviewed by Connolly)
The newest recruit to NXT enters next. It appears that her valet Robert Stone has pulled some strings and got her a place in this Rumble alongside a plethora of other NXT women. She enters strong and immediately eliminates Dakota Kai and dreams of a unlikely Rumble victory appear possible.
Sadly, her inexperience shows and she is dumped out seconds later by Alexa Bliss. 12 seconds of action for Ms. Green, the shortest length of any entrant. This wasn't the impression she was hoping to leave.
13) Dana Brooke (Reviewed by Pete)
Pete didn't do his reviews this week but I think it would have looked like this…..
Out at 13, it's KATSUYORI SHIBATA!!!!
Like Mick Foley, he has appeared 3 times in the same Rumble.
1) Alexa Bliss (Reviewed by JCH)
Arriving at number 1 and immediately joined by Bianca Belair these two were at the heart of the first half of the Rumble match. She had help in their most of the time with the arrival of Nikki Cross and the two worked together without threatening to throw each other out.
After Nikki’s elimination, Bianca and Alexa cleared the ring leaving the two to fight it out. Belair however would whip Alexa into the post from the apron to send her packing after a nice showing with 3 eliminations.
2) Bianca Belair (Reviewed by Pete)
Pete didn't do his reviews this week but I think it would have looked like this…..
Out at 2, it's KATSUYORI SHIBATA!!!!
Big surprise as Shibata is not only in the Women's Rumble but he is sporting a long single braid which he is using to attack people.
Shibata is eliminated by Charlotte presumably setting up at match at next year's Wrestle Kingdom.
22) Sarah Logan (Reviewed by Carlson)
Better late than never my first entrant at number 22 is about to enter, who we got? Sarah Logan! Who I believe is running a fiend daughter style gimmick. Literally as I’m writing this she’s been eliminated. Santino eat your heart out.
21) Kelly Kelly (Reviewed by Dom)
I don’t know about your house, but as I watched The Rumble this year, one of the big conversational topics shared during our chicken fajitas was: “where in the blue hell is Sasha Banks?” Well it turns out number 21, Kelly Kelly, was her placement. Sasha wasn’t cleared to wrestle, so the WWE found a like for like replacement in KK. I don’t really remember what happened to Kelly squared, but it would seem she was eliminated by eventual winner Charlotte Flair.
Well that was fairly pain free for me, I hope my numbers in the men’s match are as uneventful and easy to analyse...
29) Santina Marella (Reviewed by Carlson)
Last but not lease is my last entrant, 29, oh fuck off, Santino Marella dressed in full drag and has done a better lipstick job than Toni Storm.
I believe him to be the first male in a woman’s rumble and the first to deliberately eliminate themselves (aside from Khali sort of?).
That was a bit of fun given the coincidence I likened Sarah Logan to him earlier.
24) Xia Li (Reviewed by JCH)
One of my faves the vicious feed of Xia Li entered at 24. She had a showcase of some of her awesome kicks before falling into the background as the ring filled up to allow Shayna Baszler to come and clear it. Once Shayna was in Xia was gone.
28) Tegan Nox (Reviewed by Ross)
Tegan got a nice little pop before hitting a chokeslam and some sentons. Then she took an ungodly Glam Slam which she sold really well. She laid on the mat for a bit whilst Santina did her thing, before taking a knee to the face and getting dumped by Shayna.
Positives: She was in the Rumble. Negatives: No story development with Kai.
25) Zelina Vega (Reviewed by Carlson)
Rolling on to entrant 25, getting to the pointy end of things now, who do we have? Zelina Vega!
Let’s see at least a minute in the match please.
Statistically they say if you survive the first minute you’re more likely to win the rumble and Zelina has done just that and is now receiving a bit of a bullying sesh from Toni Storm and Beth Phoenix, neither of whom should be in the match for separate reasons.
Zelina had a pretty quiet rumble before meeting her abrupt end and the hands of Shayna Baszler.
26) Shotzi Blackheart (Reviewed by Ross)
I've taken Mike's number here and it's my birthday so I refuse to spend too long thinking about Shotzi, it will make Dom jealous. I loved that Shotzi tried to dump Shayna over from behind as she did a few weeks ago on NXT, only to be foiled. Lovely stuff. She didn't win, though.
27) Carmella (Reviewed by JCH)
I don’t really remember Carmella doing anything outside of moonwalking on the stage. Also eliminated by Baszler.
20) Toni Storm (Reviewed by Luke)
At number 20 we get the excellent Toni Storm, who in this nerd's eye is one of the better wrestlers in NXT/NXTUK's stacked women's division. She bombs down to the ring and throws some wicked forearms to Charlotte before she gets Charlotte'd. As mentioned before, it's great to see Toni in the Royal Rumble and seeing her face off against Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix among others without the surname Flair brings a smile to the BritWres fan in me.
Lasting a respectable 18:40 making her the 6th longest surviving woman, Storm never really gets up to much notching up 0 eliminations. I may have missed it but don't even think she gets in her finisher. Regardless you could see how much it meant to Storm to be apart of this match in BT interview with fellow nerd in one of the highlights of the Rumble coverage. Maybe next year Toni!
18) Naomi (Reviewed by Brum)
Naomi's back and her hair looks fantastic. That pop is the biggest of the Rumble so far.
Her Rumble entry fire is pretty good too, including a nice Mandrews style knee slide. After Phoenix enters and we're back to 4 in the ring, Naomi hits a nice springboard press to Beth and Charlotte.
As the 24th entrant (Xia Li) comes in, Naomi is entangled in the top turnbuckle but she survives. She spends the next few mins grappling with Natalya until Nattie and Beth double gorilla press her to the apron.
Nattie pushes her off but Naomi runs down the steps and jumps onto the barricade and JUST holds on and pulls herself up. Awesome stuff.
She then butt shuffles across the barricade to the announce table. Naomi hands around on the announce table for the next few entrants until everyone is in.
Then she takes the top off the Spanish announce table to make a bridge back to the ring steps and re-enters the ring. She goes for the Rear View on Shayna but gets caught and unceremoniously dumped out of the ring!
23) Natalya (Reviewed by Connolly)
ITS NATALYA! Said a couple of people in the 45k strong crowd. Don't get me wrong, solid worker and some decent matches and feuds in the locker. In 2020 however she is more of an after thought and quite rightly positioned as just one of the roster rather than a focal point. Saying that maybe she can defy my apathy and end this match pointing at the big Mania sign. Coming in at 23 gives her a fighting chance. Her former ally Beth Phoenix is in the ring.
The two of course fought for the Womens Tag Titles at last years Mania so they team up again here. They aim their fury at Charlotte Flair which is smart as she is clearly the biggest threat here. Naomi and Toni Storm are also victims. This could work you know. They attempt to get rid of Naomi down the line but they are just feeding her for her rumble spot this year. Nattie takes a beautiful headscissors from Carmella when she enters at 27 but she is still in this thing.
When Marella decides to remove himself at 29 Nattie attempts to get a touch on him to claim the elimination and I for one love that. It doesnt count though. No eliminations for Nattie but maybe wrestling is coming home for the Canadian. When Baszler enters at 30 and starts clearing house Nattie and Beth team up to hit a heart attack on her thus stopping her momentum.
This is it. Get rid of her and then maybe, just maybe we can start to dream of....Beth just threw her out. It's a callback to last year when I think Nattie threw Beth out. I dared to dream. Sort of. Thanks for playing Nattie. 0 eliminations in just under 15 minutes won't look good on paper when Historians look back on this.
19) Beth Phoenix (Reviewed by RJF)
Big pop. Heads straight to Charlotte Flair. Has a few near eliminations with Charlotte. Teamed up with Natty a few times. She’s been busted wide open at some point and is bleeding a lot from the back of her head.
Did a whole lot of nothing while being there for a long time. Mainly there for big name recognition I’d say. Stabs Natty in the back after teaming up a few times and eliminates her. Makes it to the final 3 with Charlotte and Shayna. Ends up being eliminated by Shayna.
30) Shayna Baszler (Reviewed by Brum)
I think I might have the winner here. Decent pop for Shayna considering she's a heel. She goes straight to Charlotte (on the outside) and throws her into the steps.
She then goes on a rampage. She eliminates Xia Li, Tegan, and then Zelina (by choking her over the ropes - great spot). Shotzi tries to eliminate her from a battle royal for the second time in 2 weeks but Shayna reverses it and eliminates her too!
Shayna is on an absolute tear and takes out Carmella and Storm. That's 6 already! Naomi is finally back in the ring and tries to hit her with the Rear View but Shayna catches her and chucks her out! 7! She's only been in a few mins!
Shayna starts a fight with Beth and Nattie but gets Hart Attacked. Beth does a cheeky elimination on Nattie to leave 3 (Shayna and Beth plus Charlotte on the outside).
Charlotte tries to dump both Beth and Shayna out at the same time but to no avail. As Beth recovers we get a great stared own between Charlotte and Shayna!! No action yet though as Beth tries the sneaky one on Charlotte. Whilst she's distracted, Shayna eliminates Beth! 8!
Shayna goes straight for Charlotte who's still on the apron. Shayna has hold of Charlotte's legs but Charlotte pushes up with her hands on the top rope into a press-up position! Shayna tries to toss her over but Flair holds on and skins the cat. She grabs Shayna with her legs and dumps Shayna out to win. Boo. Though hopefully that means Roman won't win the Men's?
17) Charlotte Flair (Reviewed by Ross)
I've taken Mike's number here and it's my birthday so I refuse to spend too long thinking about Charlotte, it will make Andrade jealous. She was excellent in this like normal and people booed her post match promo. She did win though.
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