Me - I am widely thought of as the most positive fan of wrestling in the group with my ability to enjoy all aspects of a show without complaint. I think this stems from my belief that any wrestler is risking their body any time they step through those ropes so the last thing I - an incredibly unathletic man - can do, is criticise them at any point. I am seen as, but I don't think of myself as, the captain of our ship, although I am the admin of our Fantasy Nerd League. More on that later.
Lee - Probably the most stylish of our group, Lee is always on point with his dress sense as well as his ability to spot a star in the making. The amount of times he has said to me that guy is gonna make it and is now seen on WWE TV is pretty unprecedented. His love of MMA probably supersedes that of the graps, but his nostalgia means it's still real to him, dammit. Currently AWOL due to university work, we await his return like TK and Dahlia during their VISA issues.
Sam - Part of the originals along with his bro, Lee's younger sibling Sam has a likability factor that some babyfaces wish they could bottle. Add in the fact that his intellect matches that of a cerebral assassin and you have yourself a big part of the group. When he is not losing his shit to the more hardcore spots in matches, you will find him laughing hardest at the antics of No Fun Dunne.
Mike - The White Knight of chant policing. You will not meet a firmer, but fairer judge of a chant at a British Wrestling show than Mike. The joy a thumbs up for something you have created in your head 10 seconds earlier is the closest us nerds will get to holding a World title. A social beacon of London nightlife, something is simply missing if he misses a show.
Muhammad - You know the worst thing you can do is heckle a comedian? If you ever cross this man he will verbally tear you limb from limb like a Briscoe brother on a chicken farm. His acid tongue is feared far and wide - as is his appraisal of any show he has been to - due to his reputation for being hard to impress. If he says you should see a match, I urge you to do so immediately.
Dom - Quite simply the tallest and loudest of the nerds. Our Aussie friend is infamous for his ability to pound the beers at a rate of knots. He comes out of the stalls with a two rounder like the Ultimate Warrior sprinting to the ring at Wembley. His love of early ROH and The Simpsons is widely lost in these circles, but his ability to say 'You don't suplex Andrews' just as the 205 Live star hits Stundog Millionaire is not only appreciated, but respected.
James - A hat for every occasion. This man is the absolute best at buying merch from wrestlers and probably the worst at speaking to them after. He is a long term thinker with his favourites often the early starters - at one point he had more Big T and O.J.M.O pieces of merch than they had actual matches. His crowning achievement was probably falling up the steps at SSS16, endearing him to the group, drawing claret at his elbow with a sickening sound. Blood brother.
Pete - I am going to make a bold statement that Pete has the biggest all round wrestling knowledge of anyone in the group. Quite how he manages to know so much about the American indie scene, I have no idea. Once turned up to a show despite the fact he had hardly no voice and he's such a nice guy no one let on we couldn't hear him. Until Mike told him to shut up...
Jake - We became aware of Jake along with his WFA partner in crime Rob, when they were absolutely hammered and trying to get themselves over. It didn't work with 95% of the crowd, but we were certainly won over by their carefree and charming ways. An actor by trade, he fits the mould of someone in the arts with his love of the theatrical, so it was disheartening to once see him throw that all away and drunkenly denounce Jack Sexsmith to TK Cooper and pay him £20 to do so.
Rob - The yin to Jake's yang. The pragmatic Mr Armstrong is always there to say it how it is. Whether it's on his podcast, at the show or in the pub after, Rob will simply never mince his words on any topic. A more decadent punk rock wrestling fan, Rob will usually be found in the Brazilian bar with an espresso martini before an event, avoiding us plebs. He did meet his match however when attempting to match Dom stride for stride with two jugs of Pimms at Ally Pally.
Mat - A thoroughly handsome bastard that is now stepping up his game in the gym to truly make us all feel inferior. Thankfully, he and his girlfriend Hannah are leaving us soon which will make us 200% more nerd with the loss of both a woman and a proper bloke. Only truly happy when ripping the PROGRESS fans page in our private group chat, I am happy he can continue that from Down Under.
Ro - A mix of excitement and disgust appears on his face throughout a show. The fact he has to usually drive home puts pay to his ability to enjoy the show absolutely blind like the rest of us, so he is usually the first port of call for a hazy memory recollection. This is usually met with something like 'I don't know I was looking at Matt Riddle's abs'. Which is fair.
Alex - The younger brother of Pete, Alex holds political views that differ from PROGRESS management, but his love of pro wrestling means that he comes to some shows anyhow, where he mostly enjoys heckling Zack Sabre Jr about socialism.
Charlie - Charlie can make an Office quote out of any situation, which makes it a shame that he can never seem to make the shows due to his commitment of going on a seven hour round trip most weekends to watch Man Utd play rubbish football and win.
Simon - You would expect a Millwall fan to be boisterous at the shows and that is the case. Despite the fact he has very early starts, he still gets wrapped up in the shows to the point of having to chunder at work. "He's gonna puke, he's gonna puke, he's gonna puke!" One for you there, Charlie.
Daniel - I was introduced to Daniel through Simon and a mutual love of music and football bonded us as well as wrestling of course. Loves to get involved at the shows and has already had some heated debate about footy with the regulars which has seen him coined 'Watford.'
Mitch - One of my oldest friends, Mitch is based out in the desert by and large and is unable to come along. He did his first show as part of the gang this month though and made friends with ZSJ much to the disgust of Alex. He has a love of Val Venis that runs as deep as Val's voice and sleeps in a 'Hello Ladies' shirt won in the fantasy nerd league.
Greg - A great friend of mine that I love going to shows with when he can. Work commitments stop Greg from going to too many, but when he does he gets really involved, Will Ospreay landed on his head and Jimmy Havoc pushed him against a wall on his debut appearance alone.
Robin - The man who made the step in the corner his staple is now missing from the shows and we hope that he will return soon. Once left his bag at the Ballroom and a duffed up chocolate in a bag was mistaken for heroin. I know it's punk rock Robin, but that's too far!
Ryan - My older brother Ryan has been with me the whole way in terms of my wrestling fandom, from watching Sid beat up jobbers on Superstars in 1992 to travelling to London from Somerset to catch shows with me in London. He has a family now and has little time to watch beyond the WWE on RAW but he loves coming to PROGRESS when he can with a love of hoss dudes and funny men - making Trent Seven his big favourite.
Phil - Truth be told, if me and Phil didn't go to PROGRESS back in 2014, I wouldn't have met half of these nerds. Thanks for coming with me that night Phil, I will cherish that photo of you, me and the late Kris Travis forever.
These are my friends and I love spending time with them, expect to hear all about our adventures in future posts...
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