G’day lads and welcome to very special Valentine’s day edition of 205 Live and Chill. I am your designated driver for all things desperate and dateless, Dom Van Dam.
So a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theatre tonight. Not to completely remove the fourth wall and peer behind the curtain but I normally write these articles at about 5am in the morning before I head off to work. This week I sprang out of the sack like some sort of proverbial wallaby to watch what I thought was the next episode in the 205 Live saga. Trust me dear reader, I was as surprised as you will be to hear that I didn’t realise I had clicked the wrong episode, thus completely missing a whole episode and a week full of storylines, until about 51 minutes in to the 53 minute program.
Luckily for me, I’m assuming that most people reading here are coming for the bants rather than an actual week by week recap and unless I actually told you, you may not have even realised that I missed an episode. But I’ll tell you what, if you want me to backdate an episode for the 5th of February and post it before Elimination Chamber, all you need to do is follow our insta @wrestlingshouldbefun and slide in to my DMs. I might even give you a shout out and a silly Australian nickname if you do.
Previously on 205 Live:
Apparently nothing much because I missed an entire episode and didn’t even realise, but apparently last week Akira Tozawa was named number one contender for Murph’s cruiserweight championship. I guess it’s difficult now to build a credible single challenger for the title after Murphy handled 3 men at the Royal Rumble, but the silver tongued strong stylist is as good a choice as any.
Also four weeks ago Noam Dar defeated Tony Nese with a surprise roll up and Nese has been obsessed with retribution ever since. A fortnight ago, The Gym Bunny caused The Supernova to explode with an attack in the carpark which leads us to a no disqualification main event this evening. Both men have revenge on their minds, will Toey Abs “shut Dar’s mouth,” or will the master of the champagne super knee bar pull another upset? Definitely, Maybe?
Lince Dorado vs. Jack Gallagher:
The Lucha House Party are on the microphones trying to hype a crowd that’s flatter than a Trevor Chappell underarm.
Drew Gulak joins the boys on commentary and is actually incredibly impressive. The highlight for me is his repetitive employment of malapropism to disrespect “Lindsey Dorito.”
We get the same old Team Alliteration story in this one. Ground based Gallagher is trying to keep the brakes on the bouncy-ball like Golden Corn Chip. All the while the commentary sells us the on-going narrative of Gulak and Gallagher wanting to mentor the rookie Humberto Carillo and curb his high flying ways.
To drive this narrative logically, grappling must overcome high flying in this particular contest and it does when the Mancunian Gentleman reverses an Avalanche Frankensteiner with a World Liner style sunset flip for the 1,2,3.
Promo Pourri:
We immediately have Humberto Carillo backstage with Charlie (the broadcaster, not the drug.) Berty C thinks that if two of the best wrestlers in the World want to mentor him he may as well listen.
Ariya Daivari is tired of playing second fiddle. “This industry is all about miles and money.” Daivari claims to have both in abundance so it’s time to show the World that he belongs in the main event. He wants to win the Cruiserweight Championship to start putting some “respect on his cheques.”
The Opportunist Mike Kanellis (nee Bennett) and his lovely wife are bitter about recent losses. For 16 years Bennett says he’s been a success everywhere he’s worked. Of course all he needs is an opportunity.
Tony Nese vs. Noam Dar (No Disqualification match)
Fast start from Dar who cuts Nese off before he enters the squared circle and we are underway.
These No-DQ matches are normally fairly innovative on 205 Live and this contest is no exception with some really cool high spots.
Dar gives the impression of fighting from underneath, using the stipulation as a shortcut to gain ascendency over the powerhouse. Dar uses anything at his disposal as an equaliser to blunt the abs man’s dominance.
The least attractive thing about wrestling in 2019 is when the crowd tries to call the spots and book the matches themselves. They do so here by continually chanting “we want tables.” They won’t let the chant go, even when Dar is in peril and the nasty Nese is abusing him with weapons, all we can hear is “Tables, tables, tables.” I don’t understand the appeal personally.
Dar again displays amazing resourcefulness in the comeback, blocking a right hand with a salad steel chair and then using it to lock in an assisted Fujiwara armbar.
From here the rest of the contest will see the Dafty Destroyer attacking the now injured hand of the premier athlete and then desperately going after the leg with the champagne-super, any chance he gets.
Abs Blue Ribbon is just too powerful though and when he escapes the submission and gets back to the outside he hits a big running knee to Dar through the barricade at ringside and carries a board like, stiff Supernova back in to the ring for the victory and redemption.
Contract Signing for the Cruiserweight Championship at Elimination Chamber:
A fairly uneventful contract signing as far as these things go. There’s some trash talk from the Victorian but Tozawa isn’t biting and he instead will “see you (Murphy) Sunday.”
Until then lads, drink lots of water and look after your mates.
DVD
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