I’m fairly sure that when Ross asked me to lend a hand with covering one of the weekly WWE shows for the site he must have had more than a little chuckle to himself at the irony of Dom Van Dam covering 205 Live. For those who don’t know me (and as the site continues to grow in popularity with each passing day I’m sure there’s loads) I, as a card holding Aussie bogan, have been compared occasionally to 205 Live champion Buddy Murphy.
That is if Buddy Murphy decided to eat Nia Jax for lunch (Stop it). Aside from nationality I don’t share much in common with the Murphster at all. In fact, I definitely have a good six inches (seriously, Stop it) and 100 pounds on every member of the 205 Roster!
So what you are about to read are reflections on a show which is based around the athleticism of cruiserweights by a guy who’s 6 foot 6, the best part of 310 pounds and whose best athletic achievement was getting his name on the honour board in a now defunct Toowoomba steakhouse for eating a 1.5kg Lamb Shank. Get around me fellas!!!
The 5th of December episode opens with a Drake Maverick hype video outlining our contests for the evening and we have 3 matches to look forward to, 2 contests and one enhancement, which has always been the classic formula for the show. I can’t wait to see how many Spanish flies we see this week.
THE BRIAN KENDRICK (W/ AKIRA TOZAWA) v DREW GULAK (W/JACK GALLAGHER)
Drew Gulak is out wearing his cut off robe which shows off his upper thighs and gives the perfect illusion that he is wearing nothing underneath, kind of like when a wrestler in trunks wears a t-shirt over the top of their gear for their entrance.
The arena is noticeably empty for the start of this contest and at first I wondered if crowds were really that far down for all TV tapings but it would seem that seats filled up by the main event. I guess it’s just a really quick turnaround after the main show taping and people are using this as an intermission.
The match for the most part is a catch as catch can scientific style contest with loads of counter holds and plenty of back and forth action. It seems out of place to see a feud being “settled” (note, I’m sure this isn’t actually settling a feud) by grappling but it’s a refreshing change.
The depleted crowd still know how to clap when they are meant to and we get a nice slow one when Kendrick is in peril in the half crab. Early reports suggest that as Kendrick overcame the odds and didn’t tap out that The OJMO is still the current master of that particular hold.
The action picks up a gear as Nigel McGuinness explains “This is turning into a fight.” Gulak is throwing open fists and Kendrick forearms in this exchange which are still completely legal wrestling strikes (even by 80s NWA standards) as are both the tiger and dragon suplexes (and both beauties) by Kendrick for near falls. That was about as memorable as the action got before Spanky hits the sliced bread #2 for what looks like the win and Gallagher breaks it up for the DQ.
0 Spanish Flies.
BUDDY MURPHY INTERVIEW
Murph’s sole purpose here is to bait Cedric Alexander by telling us that Mustafa Ali is a much tougher opponent than The C&C Wrestle Factory Alumni. It looks like next week we’ll get both of the competitors from the title match at Super Showdown in singles matches against opponents of Drake’s choosing.
ARIYA DAIVARI v CLAY ROBERTS
Remember what I said about 2 contests and one squash? Well guess what time it is? DaIvari’s new ring gear looks like he is the love child of Drake (the rapper, not the GM) and Magnum (P.I. not T.A.). He even keeps his chain on for the match. I can only imagine it’s just as a reminder to himself. Khosrow’s bro hits a couple of Pepsi twists and keeps picking him up for short-arm lariats until Little Naitch steps in for the stoppage.
0 Spanish Flies.
205 VT PROMO CITY
First up is Mustafa Ali saying that “whether my next opponent for the title be friend or foe... I’ll be ready.” Lovely Royal Rumble 1990 reference. Cedric Alexander is up now hyping next week. He seems to think there’s no chance of anyone driving a wedge between the heart and soul of 205 Live. Lovely SummerSlam 96 Reference!
Rounding it out is Noam Dar, in a car, spitting bars. I predict he says something about a Deadly Game tournament or Mega Powers Exploding.
Nope, just something about Murphy’s “Daft Pal.” This further strengthens my million dollar idea that WWE need to start subtitling Dar’s promos in the poshest English possible and encourage him to be the most Glaswegian bloke on the planet. Imagine “Yer dafty pal Tooooony Neeeese” and underneath is “your ignorant colleague Tony Nese,” Book it Trips.
KALISTO & LINCE DORADO v MIKE KANELLIS & TJP (W/ MARIA KANELLIS)
This starts awkwardly with the Lucha House Party (that’s the guys in the masks) trying to hand out sweets to kids in the front row out of a giant santa sack. Wrestling should be fun here so let’s not jump to conclusions too early.
The heat consists of Maria destroying a piñata and Bennett hitting mounted punches with a mask on his hand. The hope-spot consists of a handspring double stunner (remember when Cena used to hit that springboard stunner for a while?) and is cut-off with an STF by TJP (looks like the 205 boys got a copy of Cena’s US Title run on DVD for Christmas).
This is now officially the longest I’ve ever watched this show without seeing a Spanish Fly. Dorado hits the Super Crazy 3 moonsaults that were used to beat Rhino for the ECW TV title and the Christmas theme continues as the House Party do a Dudley Boyz “get the tables spot” but instead grab the santa sack which is full of cardboard piñatas.
After a double superplex on the unforgiving cardboard, the House Party get the 3 with the SDS/SSP combination.
0 Spanish Flies.
TONY NESE PROMO
Tony Nese and his eight pack (not that impressive to a bloke with a carton) closes the show by cutting a promo with a protein shake cup in his hand. We get it mate, you go to the gym, stop mocking me. Next week it looks like we’ll have Nese vs. Cedric and Dar vs. Murphy.
I’d make a prediction that with 0 Spanish Flies, this probably won’t be the best wrestling show held on a Wednesday this week. I’m even more confident that with ATTACK running the London Dome on Wednesday, next week will have to improve a fair bit to even be in the running. But I’ll be here to give you the 411 on the 205 anyway.
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